Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Words...Avoiding The Painful Ones!

      No, my post today doesn't have anything to do with my scarf! Even though for some people it may be 'painful' to look at! ^_^  I kinda like it though! (And I don't always feel that way about my creations. Especially when they're first done.)
    My post today will include a poem I wrote a while ago entitled "Painful Words". The whole poem will be at the bottom of this post.  But I wanted to talk about this subject because of an incident that happened yesterday. And NO! I'm not going to name names or give clues so that the person will know who I'm talking about! That would be petty...and not my style.
    I do want to say though, that words can really be powerful, can't they?! When you say something or have something said to you that is encouraging and up-building, it has the power to lift your spirit and demeanor. But when you say something, or have something said to you, that is mean spirited, or intentionally hurtful, it can have the opposite affect. It can tear you down, make you depressed, and put you in a really bad mood. Oh Yeah!
   I'm embarrassed to say that I've been on both sides of this equation. (On the receiving end yesterday!) I've said things I shouldn't have said,...and KNEW I shouldn't have said it!...And I've had things said to me that shouldn't have been said...So today I'm putting out a call to all those who use words with their lips, but have underlying intentions in their heart, to PLEASE be now put on notice that while people may never 'call you on it' (or holler "FOWL"), they are aware of your "mean-ing" and your "mean-ness"!! The unspoken word about it is also powerful in this case!
   I apologize to anyone I may have hurt with my words...intentionally in the past, or unintentionally now. And I will henceforth try to be careful to be ME without purposely stepping on YOU. I know "ME" can be a handful all by myself! ^_^ And I will apply an apology to you in my behalf, whether you say it or not, so that we can move on, speak kindly of each other, and never bring up painful words said in anger again...intentionally.
    Even though you all don't know the situation, I'm sure you're familiar with the scenario. So, you can apply this to yourself too if you want.............MOVING ON!!
    Back to my scarf!
      I got an email yesterday that said my "Pistachio" yarn has been shipped!! YAY! It'll probably be here tomorrow. But in the meantime, I finished this scarf and started another one using the "Razzle Dazzle" thread yarn.....and purple!
     Remember.......no painful words!!! ^_^ Actually, I'm not completely sure about it myself.  I'll keep you posted!!
     On another note, I've been meeting some of my AWM team mates through emails and convoes on Etsy. They're some really nice people, with some really nice shops. So, I've decided to let you get to know them along with me by introducing you to one shop at the end of my posts. Today it's...
     Her shop on Etsy is HDBlackJewelry. Even her business card is classy! :-) This is her Cascading Green Necklace...
      Please go by and check out the rest of her shop!...I won't have to worry about you saying anything painful about her jewelry!! :-)

Painful Words

Words can be painful.
They can hide your reason to know.
You can pretend to have no knowledge,
when you stab your victim so low.

Some things can be forgiven,
when said too fast to take  them back;
But don`t try to say: "I`m sorry"
when your actions deny that fact.

Words said in anger,
make your heart feel like its bleeding;
They leave behind a hurt so big
that nothing stops it's pleading.

So, when spilling pain from your lips
(a leak of pain to reach the heart),
Remember the scar left behind-
Plug the hole or let waters part.

16 comments:

  1. Alicia9/22/2010

    Oh so true! Like you I've been on both ends, but because of how I feel when I'm on the receiving end, I strive diligently to frame my words carefully. And when I fail, I apologize sincerely and profusely. Luv ya!

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  2. Good post yet again!
    I must admit that I have always been a very downright person and have always said what I think. To people who do not know me the words have either confused, angered or hurt them. My intentions were never that and I have learned over the years not to say EVERYTHING out. But also I have learned that some people just don't get me whichever way I say it so there is no point in communicating with such people. I get to be me when surrounded by family and friends because they know that I never mean anything bad and that I was probably just being cheeky ;) On the other end I don't like when people want to say something but they are afraid to. This could be even worse I think. Communication is the key :)
    I have a good friend who is just like me, says what he thinks, but the difference is that I feel he hasn't learned much over the years (he's 40). Some of the things can be hurtful sometimes even though I know him and I know that he doesn't want to hurt me. I guess it's the way you say it too. Anyway, I could go on and on but I won't LOL ;)

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  3. You speak the truth. You write openly. Somehow being expressive and open can be a two-edged sword. No one has mastered the tongue. And even God has felt hurt, many times.

    Keep your good sense of humor. And as you say, "Moving on". Very nice scarf. Why doubt your work?

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  4. Alicia, Good for you! That's the way to do it. It takes maturity to do that!

    Mariann, I can't imagine anybody misunderstanding you! :-)...And you're right, some people just won't get you no matter what you do! You just have to continue to be YOU. Communication IS the key!...For me, I've had to learn to say what I'm thinking, but from my own perspective, not aimed at anybody else. Honest. It may hurt someone, but not intentionally. Not anymore.

    Seasons, You're right about how writing openly can be a two-edged sword. And at this point I'm not even trying to master the tongue, just control it's direction a bit...With my "rudder", if you know what I mean! ^_^ And thanks for the complement on my scarf. We'll see if you still feel that way when it's finished!!...Moving on!! LOL

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  5. Oh Deb, I'm so sorry!! I hope it wasn't me!! I have a big mouth and say things at times that DO hurt people, but not usually on purpose. It's like the Bible says...our tongue is a little member, but can cause so much damage if not kept in control. Hopefully time will heal your pain.

    Also, I love your new scarves!! They're gorgeous! Orange/brown are some of my favorite colors! And that purple will be stunning!!

    Keep moving on my friend!!

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  6. Oh Cin, It wasn't you!!! It was an "In Person" person, if you know what I mean. But not hubby. I just tickle him and he's fine!!! LOL It's over now. I've moved on! I feel the pain, deal with it, and move on. Too much love and life to let things bug me for too long...And thanks for the scarf complement! I'll probably finish the other one by tomorrow. Just in time for the "Pistachio" and "Moss"!!! I can't wait!!! :-))

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  7. Of course we can all relate to this. I find I don't really have a hard time with the true meanies - it's easier to somehow call them out and give it back. It's when I'm unsure of a person's true intent, or if I think that maybe they didn't mean it to sound quite the way they did. What to do then? I end up stewing over it instead of raising it right then, which I think I should do sometimes.

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  8. Oh so sorry this happened to you. Not only the spoken word, but the written word too must be carefully used. Sometimes I see on blogs people writing nasty responses when obviously they are visiting the wrong blog...just go find one you agree with! It is so important that we all build each other up. **blows kisses** Deb

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  9. Mary, Yeah, right away works better for me! If I wait I find that I end up madder that if I would have just dealt with it right away. And there's more chance of saving a relationship (or a few relationships, if you get into the terrible cycle of telling other people about it!!) :-0 ...If I can't just 'let it go', I confront with a view to saving the relationship if possible.


    Deborah said "...blog...just go find one you agree with! It is so important that we all build each other up..." This is my sentiments exactly!! Not only in Blog World....in 'face-to-Face People World' too!!! Rather than becoming unkind to the person you're hanging around with, go find someone else to hang around with!! :-)

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  10. oh I can I relate to this. I think apologizing and meaning it is very important.

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  11. Croatian_Latina, Agreed! You can never go wrong with a sincere apology!!

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  12. Isn't it good to know, so many people care about you? Consider what I said, as "brotherly" concern. If it helped, it makes me very happy.

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  13. Seasons, Indeed it is, and I am fully aware that I am indeed loved!...Not by everybody, but who is?! LOL Thank you for your nice words.

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  14. Carrie, Things have been discussed. For me this was a necessary step. I'm sure things will work themselves out with time. Thanks for your concern. :-)

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  15. Thanks Everybody! :-)

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