Thursday, May 26, 2011

What Would You Say To Your Sixteen Year Old Self? And Would It Be Something About Crock Pots?!

I know, you're probably wondering: "What is she talking about now?!!" LOL Well, I'll tell you!...On one of my 'reading forays' through blogland I came across a question that...Well...sent me back down memory my childhood.

In my childhood there were no crock pot dinners. Dinners that you prepared by cutting up potatoes and carrots, onions and ginger. Dinners where you seared the beef just right so that the juices would keep it moist during the long cooking process. Dinners where the crock pot was stuffed to within an inch of it's life and just the right amount of liquid was added. Dinners where all kinds of the perfect mixture of spices was included and you anticipated the smell after hours and hours would go by!

And after having the aforementioned steps all done, this kind of dinner was all that was on my mind when I was about to do my blog reading.

On the Blog Other Than The Weather, at the end of her post, she asked the question: "What would you say to your sixteen year old self"...And since I was in fact, at one time, a sixteen year old...despite thoughts to the contrary by people who see me in my fifty-year-old-self-body and think I must have been born this old! intrigued me!

So I decided at that moment that today's blog post would just have to be written!!...And while you're listening to me talk to my sixteen year old self, think about what you would say to yourself if you were sixteen...that is, if you're already past sixteen now. :-)

"Deb, I need to tell you something that you really need to hear...You're so cute!! I know it sounds like I'm only saying that because I'm 'you' almost 40 years later. But that's not the reason. The reason I'm telling you that is because somebody should have been saying that to you...over and over again at the age you are now, and even that you would not be searching for love and acceptance in all the wrong places...And trust me Girl, the places you're searching for it, THEY"RE ALL WRONG!!!

The boy with the square head that never talks to you and the really cute boy that hardly ever hears you when you're talking to him...are not just basking in the deep emotions they have for you! They don't care about you, not even enough to tell you that the reason they keep hanging around, at all, is out of sympathy for your lack of self-esteem.

And honestly, you don't need them! You only think you do because you need to be loved...a make up for love you should have naturally received just for being you! That's a throw-back emotion from the fact that your biological dad disappeared when you were born, and your mom was so wound up in her own struggle for life that she couldn't give you all of the love and attention you rightly deserved.

Oh, if only you could see what I see now. You're funny, creative, loving, caring, insightful beyond your years, and attractively empathetic. These are the qualities that your friends in later years are really gonna appreciate! Yeah, some people will take advantage of you because of these traits, but you shouldn't change one bit of who you are! That's where your confidence will come from. You'll see what I mean later...much later! :-)

And stop using that manipulation thing with your dad! You've been getting away with it up till now, but the only reason you have is because he's carrying some guilt himself about his life. STOP THAT!! He's one person you don't ever have to wonder about in the 'loving-you' department. He absolutely does! And just ask! He doesn't need to be manipulated!

Now, about the shoes and have a really good sense of style. Trust it! Stop trying to dress like everybody around you that you think looks cute. Their stomach showing, and everything else too, is NOT cute! And let's be real...your body type should not be in a wrap-around polyester dress! I don't care how cute the print on it is! You need to take it down a notch! Go more casual....but don't get carried away with that either!!

And while we're on this subject, let me just say: "'YOU' are not your hair, earrings, shoes, or fingernails, no matter how cute they are!! Oh so cute sometimes!!!"...

...Those are just accessories. Accessories to help you show off who you are, not accessories that DEFINE WHO YOU ARE!..Don't worry though. You'll figure that out later...much later! :-)

By the way, speaking of defining who you are, don't think so slightingly of your poetry and journaling. Those things are a definite keeper! I say that because you are going to want to throw all those years of diaries away when you get into your twenties, when you think that you are so in love that your past doesn't even matter anymore...UGH! Dismiss that thought...QUICK!

You have some good thinking going on in that sometimes fickle brain of yours! Like the fact that you would never take your sister's boyfriend...even though she wasn't treating him respectfully, and you knew he really liked you. Good for you!! Your sister's love is way more important...even if she doesn't appreciate that right now.

Oh Yeah, on the subject of love, stop judging boys on the "cuteness" factor! Some of them are really 'Ugly-hearted'! They don't have your best interests as a priority. And you deserve to have someone in your life...that is, when you get old enough to want to focus on the rest of your life...that has you as a priority...Psst! Don't worry about this either though, because you make a REALLY good choice of a life partner in about 6 years from now! :-)

You've done a lot of living in your young sixteen years! You've had to SURVIVE a lot of it! But, from your fifty-something self, to you, at your sixteen year old self, let me say....YOU DID!!!! :-) And you did it well!!! You didn't hang onto a lot of the ugliness that happened to you, and you didn't let the ones doing it to you define who you came to be. WOOHOO!!

Your childhood was fraught with all kinds of things you had no control over, {Like crock pots, in your future, that die and you don't know anything about it until you've waited six hours and then realized there were no anticipated smells in the house like there should have been!! LOL} and decisions I wish you didn't have to make about where you wanted to live and if you would become a legal guardian for your four siblings! But you made them, and at some point, despite these decisions, and in some cases because of them, you grew up. Physically, emotionally, morally, and spiritually you grew up!

And so, with a hearty feeling of pride, and a whole lot of love for you, I say to you, my 16 year old self: "You survived it Girl!! You're a really good person. You're aces in my book...ANd don't you forget it!!...And don't live in the past. It's time to be moving on......and time to buy a new crock pot. :-)"

What Should A Written Letter Be?

Should it be a simple "Hi!"?
A casual "I was thinking of you!"?
A 'Catching Up' on times now past?
A calendar of the things you'll do?

A sad reflection of how they're missed?
A needed word when someone's died?
To say you wished you could be there?
To say you really, really tried?

Solicitations for your business?
Requests for info? A note of thanks?
Impersonal salutations from
Insurance companies and banks?

Heartfelt apologies?
Explanations of what you did?
A place to 'let off a little steam'?
To, without loudness, 'Blow your Lid'?

Well, whatever reason for them,
they put a smile upon your face,
that no Facebook, Tweet, or typing
ever, ever, will replace!

I hope they never go out of style,
and keep the mailman's job secure;
because the smell of a written letter,
like hugs and kisses, should endure.

{Big "Thank yous" to these shops for the use of their shop photos. And please check out and buy them from them if you like them: The girl on the phone photo is entitled MALL-CALL-Oil Painting Figure Cell Phone. It's from EILEENMCCOY; And the Yellow Nail Tips With Glitter are from LynnsBoutique.}


  1. Great post Deb!! And all good advice!! When I think back to when I was that age I think "man that girl is lost"! But weren't we all at that age. I like that you wrote "don't live in the past" That is something I have to work on alot!! Even now in my 40's!

    Thanks for sharing!! :)

  2. I love that post, Deb! Such great words of wisdom to your 16-year-old self. Life was really hard for me when I was 16 and I think mostly I'd tell that girl that things would eventually get better and that the wisdom she felt deep inside really was there and really was great and enduring wisdom... And I'd tell her that she was worthy of everything good she desired. Thank you for sharing this, Deb!! Love, Silke

  3. Cathy, Thank you...I tried to talk to myself 'for real'! I needed to have somebody say these things to me back then...'for real'! LOL And you are so right about us being lost in our teens, but we were spending so much time trying to make everybody think we weren't!!! ^_^ And the work continues!!!!

  4. Silke, I'm so glad you liked it!! And what good words of wisdom you would tell your 16 year old self too!! 'Things will eventually get better' is hard to hear when you're an angst-ridden teenager!! LOL I guess we should talk to our 'little girls' inside more often! :-]

  5. Hi Debbie,
    Great post. Honestly, I'm glad to be me now. In my opinion, my life gets better and better over the years. But to get here, I guess, we had to learn something and I did.

    Have a lovely day.

  6. Priscila, Thanks! YAY for you, being glad to be you now!! That means you're in a good place...and a good learner too, huh?! :-]...Have a good rest of the day!

  7. You talk to yourself very well Wug! Have you done this before? LOL I hope your 16 year old self listens to you!
    A very good post my friend!

  8. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this! I was a rowdy, troublemaker at 16.. I probably wouldn't say anything to myself at that age, maybe just a punch in the face? :]

  9. CinnLynn, Ha! Ha! I talk to myself all the time. It's the plight of a poet, I'm afraid. :-] And it's too late for my 16 year old self. She didn't listen, but I'm making up for it for her now. :-) I'm glad you liked this, Bead...Have a good day, my dear friend.

  10. Hollie, Ha! Ha! Ha! Noooo! No punching in the face allowed!! ^_^ If you haven't already, you will figure out why you were rowdy and a trouble-maker. When you figure it out...THEN write a letter to your 16 year old self! I'm sure she'll find it very eye-opening! :-)

  11. What a great post you've written! I wish I had told myself some of those things. Gosh I was such a goody goody when I was 16 not like now rofl ;)
    And the song you chose by Rascal Flatts. That is one of my favourites. Well, Rascal Flatts is one of my favourite bands :) That song always makes me a little teary but I still listen to it.

  12. Jo-anne, Thank you Jo...You were a goody goody too, huh? I think that's GREAT!!! :-] That's a good quality to have, doing things right, instead of always on the edge, like a lot of young people do these days!...If only someone could get them to talk to themselves!!...As to the song, it makes me cry too...but it's because my life and life choices resonate with the words of the song so much! Sometimes you have to let go...hope you get forgiveness down the road....and move on.

  13. Fab post - I wish you'd spoken to me when I was that age. I loved the dad manipulation thing.
    I'm also wiping tears away. I'd never heard that before.
    As for advice to myself at sixteen - stay away from the wine gums! You do want teeth at 50 don't you?
    Such a good post.

  14. That was nice. I would hug BOTH of you if I!

    Guess what WE had for dinner tonight? Home made Chicken and Ham soup that Hubby made in the slowcooker (crockpot) that has been cooking for two days. BEST SOUP EVER.

    Enter me!

  15. Facing50, Ha! I wish I'd talked to "ME" when I was that age!!! ^_^ I'm afraid the clarity came with the it does with all of us, right?!...And don't feel bad about the tears either. I cry every time I hear it! It's a wonder I still play it...but I love a good cry too! :-] Thank you so much for the nice words. :-)

  16. Alittlesprite, Awwwww! I love hugs!!...Consider your hug both of us! ^_^ And YUM!!! Chicken and ham soup! That sounds so good!!!...By the way, I am now the proud owner of a BRAND SPANKING NEW LARGER CROCK POT!! LOL


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