♫ 'This is a story 'bout a man named Jed. Poor mountaineer...' ♫.....Okay. No its not!...This is a story about "The Intimidator"...A man referred to as 'brother' by his fellow worshipers....
...as 'Bae' by his loving wife...and as "Mr. J" by the neighborhood kids...Or, should I say, by SOME of the neighborhood kids! The neighborhood kids who weren't in his yard the other day, throwing stuff and trying to bother his property! O_O
Here's the story: The weather has been teasing us in our area. One day it's hot. The next day it's chilly. The next day it's raining. The next day.....you get the drift. But somehow here lately there were three or four really nice days strung all together! :-) And hubby was getting antsy about getting in the yard and digging something up...planting something....hanging something up!...
And so he did!...He toodled around the yard removing dead branches, pruning, straightening, etc. And once he took the dead branches off of my former hummingbird tree....*moment of silence...;'_';...*he realized that there was an area still left there where he could hang the hummingbird feeder! :-)
So, off he went to make homemade hummingbird nectar......Shhhhh! I didn't bother to tell him that it was waaaay too early for hummingbirds. When a man has a dream...and a hummingbird feeder...who am I to burst his bubble! ^_^
And therein lies the problem...there are other 'man-children' in the neighborhood. Other 'man-children' with too much time on their hands too...and a dream. A dream of hitting something colorful with a rock...or stealing it to use for target practice somewhere else! O_O
And this is when "The Intimidator" felt the strong need to make a showing...
...Yeah. You can probably tell from looking at this picture of him where this story is going! ^_^ But anyway!....From the window he could see that the kids were too enamored with his feeder. They kept going back and forth in front of it, staring at it...Then, because I was the one in the room at the time, out of the corner of my eye I saw something whiz past the feeder. It was either a rock or a stick or something! O_O ...I told "The Intimidator" what I saw.
He went over to the window and saw one of the kids, with a stick, swinging at his feeder!!...Grrr!...Just seeing him in the window, he thought, would be enough to scare the kid off. But the kid kept right on swinging!...Then he realized the kid couldn't see him. Our windows are tinted. (When the sun is up you can't see in them from outside!)
So he SNATCHED the blind up really fast!!..."The Intimidator"!!!...
...and the kid went running! :-] ...Just exactly what "The Intimidator" knew he would do!....Then hubby went outside and said to them: "You don't be touching people's property!!! If you touch it again I'm gonna chase you!"......O_O Huh?!...He says he was at a loss for words.....Yeah. I can see that! ^_^ How intimidating is a 50 something year old man chasing two eleven or twelve years olds?! O_0
Apparently they thought..not much!...because hubby looked out the window and saw the same kid back again....and staring at his feeder, trying to figure out how to get to it! When he saw the kid climbing over the tree, trying to actually take the feeder down....THAT WAS IT!!!..."The Intimidator" went back outside!....The kid saw him and ran to the other side of the yard where his friend was.
Hubby stood in the yard and pulled out his cell phone...
...The kid saw him and yelled: "What are you doing?!"...Hubby, in his angry 'intimidator' voice said: "I'm calling the police!!"...
Then the kid, to hubby's surprise, actually looked scared!!!...
He said: "Who calls the police on a kid?!!".....Hubby said: "I do!"....Then the kid said: "The other kid dared me to touch it!...I didn't hear what you said the first time!...I'm sorry. I won't do it again."....
...Success!.....Intimidation worked! :-))
Great!...."The Intimidator" was born...and considering the results, I fear he's gonna be around all summer. I say this because since that incident two days ago, we've had a couple of other incidents of kids sauntering through the yard. And each time "The Intimidator" had to go outside to make sure they kept moving and didn't get anywhere near his feeder!...Grrrr!
So far "The Intimidator...one!.....Neighborhood kids....zero! ^_^ I hope it stays that way. Otherwise "Mrs. Intimidator" might need to look through her medical books to find out what to do for big knots getting put on her husband's forehead by a flying rock! LOL...Aargh!
When Jeff Was A Boy
He had an orange bicycle
that he rode all over town;
A banana-seated 'Stingray',
and its handle grips were brown.
At 12, to make some cash,
he had a great big paper route.
He'd either walk or ride his bike.
Come rain or shine, he would go out.
He had a fast-red wagon
he pretended was a car.
He hauled everything in sight,
from sister's dolls, to dirt-filled jars.
He played little league football,
basketball, kick soccer too.
Despite his having asthma
(which his coaches never knew).
He had lots of toys to play with-
matchbox cars and small 'Hot Wheels',
'Pick-up Sticks' and building blocks,
and model planes, which gave him thrills.
All his responsibility
was to take 'Skippy' out to run.
Thats all his dog and him would do.
This made his childhood lots of fun!
Now he's older, likes to stroll,
and grow his garden in the yard;
Doesn't hanker for his boyhood.
Doesn't wanna play that hard!
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