Before I get into it, let me first say that this story is not to recruit, embarrass, or shock anyone. It's just to tell the truth of it, and maybe to answer some questions for those who know me and have been embarrassed to ask.
Those of you who have been following my blog already know that I don't celebrate Christmas...No! I really don't!...I used to, or should I say my family used to. In fact the rest of my family still does! I stopped celebrating Christmas around 1983 or so. So I've had more than 28 years of no Christmases!...Before I get into the why of 'No More Christmas', let me tell you my memories of Christmas.
If you're expecting to hear some horror story where I was traumatized into not liking Christmas....sorry. My not celebrating Christmas doesn't have anything to do with some traumatic experience that made me go running and screaming away from Christmas! ^_^ In fact, there was a traumatic incident one Christmas when I was very young, but it made me like and appreciate my Christmases after that even more!
That incident happened when I was very young. I'm not even sure exactly how old I was. I wanna say about 8. But I'm not sure. Anyway!...that was one of the rare Christmases that my mother...who was a single mom at the time...actually had money, and we were getting things...material things...for Christmas!
I remember how me and my sisters opened our gifts with wide-eyed wonder that Christmas morning. Wrapping paper just flew!! LOL...We got an 'Etch-A-Sketch',...
...a 'Lite Brite'...
Then, either the next day or shortly after that, disaster struck! Our small house caught fire. The flames were licking up the walls in the back of the house...our bedroom area. There was a gentleman that lived in a room off the back of our house...kinda like a mother-in-law apartment...who was a drinker. Actually..an alcoholic as I remember. I don't know if he left something on the wood stove, or he fell asleep and his alcohol bottle hit some open flame or something, or what happened!...but I have vivid memories of how the red and blue flames were so beautifully caressing the walls of our house and putting off such a nice wood smell, but there was only a little smoke. Funny what you remember.
I also remember that my mother was in an absolute panic once she saw it!!! She was yelling for us to "Get out of the house...NOW!!!" And once we were outside, she started throwing our Encyclopedias out the window...one by one!...I think those were another one of the gifts we had gotten...I remember being anxious and waiting for the new toys to come flying out the window too!...but nope! Books!
When we came back later that day, after the house had burned completely down to the ground....{in those days there was no 'johnny-on-the-spot' fire department. Especially not in our small town!}...the only things we found in the ashes were some coins, all black and sooty. Apparently my mother still had some change in the pocket of her coat that was hanging on a nail next to the window she was throwing the books out of. And an un-cashed check too, as I remember. In all of the mayhem she only thought of the encyclopedias...That oughta tell you something about why words are so important to me.
But as I said, this didn't make me dislike Christmas. It made me appreciate those rare Christmases we shared. back then...We left the south with my father shortly after that. That's another long story!...And we celebrated our next Christmases in the North-east...with lots of snow!...Up until I was in my early 20s I was a Christmas nut!!
I baked like a crazy woman, along with my sisters, before every Christmas. We strung lights, inside and outside the house. We even decorated bushes...and the dogs if they stood still long enough!! LOL...These fun times laughing with my family are the times I miss even now. Not Christmas itself.
As with many things in life, once you grow up and put your 'big girl' brain on things, you come to a realization of what kind of person you're going to be. What you'll believe. What you'll stand for...and what you won't! And as I learned the real details of Christmas through research and Bible study...that Jesus was not born on December 25th...that I was, as a Christian, celebrating something that had non-Christian roots...that I didn't want to teach my children (if I ever had any) values that made them less than they should have been (lying, selfishness and greed)...and that I didn't want to offend the very person...God himself...that I was professing to worship...I knew that Christmas, for me, would have to go.
And I'm not gonna lie to you...that first year not celebrating Christmas was hard!! I knew that my family would be all together, eating, singing, and laughing. And I knew they would think I was some kind of fanatical nut! In fact, my father was so angry that he didn't talk to me for months afterward!
But I also knew that, when I got right down to it, I was making a right decision! No one else had to like it! I DID!!...We teach our children, as my father taught me, not to just go along with the crowd, to have their own mind about things, to stand up for what they know is right. And we tell them that it will sometimes be hard to do that...Think of peer pressure, drugs, drinking in College, etc...but we don't tell them HOW hard it's gonna be at times...and that you may even be at odds with your own parents over it!
We don't tell them that once you make the decision to be 'different' you have to believe within 'yourself' that it's right! That you have to stand for something...even when other people don't understand you...And that you have to be willing to give up all of the perks for being right!...But I learned this. And I'm living this now.
Subsequent Christmases got easier and easier. My father became very respectful of my not celebrating it. I still don't think he fully understands why I 'make a big deal out of it' though. Frankly, it's hard to explain to someone who doesn't have strong religious convictions about anything, why I would stick like glue to my God and never want to offend him in any way!
There is some reasoning in one of Jehovah's Witness's publications (Reasoning From The Scriptures) that was really eye-opening for me. Paraphrasing it, it says 'Suppose a crowd of people came to a man's home saying that they were there to celebrate his birthday, but the man doesn't like the celebrating of birthdays. And further, the man doesn't like to see people overeat and over-drink, or engage in loose conduct, but some of them do all of those things!
And they bring presents, not to him, whose birthday it 'supposedly' is, but to each other!...On top of all that they pick a birthday of one of the man's enemies as the date for the celebration!...How would the man feel? And would you want to be a party to it?!'...Now I know this can sound kind of harsh...but, in effect, this is exactly what's being done by Christmas celebrations!
So, just so you know....all of you who know me and have been embarrassed to ask...when people are talking all the time about the lights, and the food they're gonna eat, and the music, and the festivities, I'm not feeling bad that I'm not going to be participating. Although I think that people making time for their families is great!...and should be done EVERY day!! I'm actually feeling a little sorry for people who are celebrating something they don't know, and a little sad that God himself has to watch people carry on about something that's so offensive and dismissive of him...without even knowing that they are. :-(
Yes, the lights twinking all over the neighborhood could be pretty. Certainly the food....delicious! Family all together, and in a good mood...wonderful! Music being sung and everyone wearing their emotions on their sleeves for the people most dear to them...fantastic! Taking time to care for those less fortunate than themselves...much needed!...But why at this time of the year only?! Shouldn't it be who we are every day of every year?!...Having taken Christmas off of my list as a "Special" day makes these qualities things I strive for every day. And I think that's a good thing. And a right thing. At least it is for me.
I'll be back to my fluff and silliness soon...no worries about that! ^_^ But I felt like I needed to say this...If you have any other questions for me, please don't be embarrassed to ask! It's clear...isn't it?...that I'll talk about anything!! ^_^
Have a good day everybody!
Stand For Something
I heard an expression one time
that made the depths of my heart sing.
It said: "You have to stand for something,
or you'll fall for anything".
I'm sure that when I heard it
it didn't mean what it means now.
It was just a thought to others
that before "them", I'd not bow!
But my life's been taking turns,
and I've grown a strong belief-
that you have to pick a course,
and into something, put your teeth.
You can't be swaying back and forth
like floating tides that ebb and flow.
You've got to really stand for something-
and for something that you "know"!
For me, that 'something' is Jehovah God.
His laws and principles I've learned.
They're written deep upon my heart.
They're why my life has truly turned.
So, I won't stand for 'anything',
because the Bible will explain.
It explains that God has promised
'no more sorrow, death or pain'.
He has given us the tools
of accurate knowledge that we need
to ward off harmful thinking-
and in God's word-this we read.
The fruitage of God's spirit-
We can work to have all nine.
That will help us stand for something,
so, in life, we won't be blind.
The nine are: Love and Joy and Peace
and Long-Suffering, Kindness too.
Then there's Goodness, Faith and Mildness,
Self-Control-all these we do.
With the knowledge that we gain,
and these qualities that we wear,
we won't just fall for anything,
because we'll stand for something rare.
