I Don't Know If I Want To Be Your Friend

       You're probably thinking that this is a strange photo to be sharing on a Monday, but it has to do with how I was feeling this weekend...Don't worry. I'm not going to get that 'deep' with this post. It's Monday, after all. Everybody is probably already emotionally 'down' because they have to start the work week again after a fabulous weekend! :-]
    But it's one of those posts where I feel like I need to talk about what happened so you'll understand my mood if you see it in my writing...First, let me start out with the part of my weekend that gave me smiles though. :-)

      I made another tiny flower to put on a necklace! And I put one of the rarest buttons I have on it. It's a vintage button...worth some money!...I've been saving this button for just the right project that I could put it on and not feel guilty about having to charge for what it's worth. This necklace will be it!

      I also, per the customer's request, made 2 more lapel pins.

        A green and brown one...which doesn't actually have a button attached yet. (I suggested this button to the customer. I'm waiting to hear if it's a yes or no.)

     And then this lilac and white one. (I suggested two buttons for this one. Either the white button with the gold trim....

       ...or just a plain pearl button.

      I know which one it would be if it was me. But I'm not the customer!! :-))
    Okay, back to what happened this weekend...I was over on Facebook, checking out my 'friends', scrolling down, looking at what everybody was up to, when......family member's faces starting rolling by. Usually this would bring a little smile to my face. I kinda liked seeing what everybody was up to....Usually!
    But as I started to read, I found myself getting more and more upset. And then tears!! I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to give you a little bit of back story for you to be able to understand...I've told you about my childhood. That it wasn't very good. But I haven't told you a lot of the details because....Well, because!! :-)
    And as I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings with this post, I'm not going to get into a lot of the details here either. But in order for you to understand I have to tell you that I was abused....sexually abused...by a family member who is no longer alive. That family member's photo was going by in my stream on Facebook. A face I hadn't seen for YEARS!!
     Some of my family members were sharing photos and niceties about him...the abuser.  {And before you start thinking this is going to turn into an angry post, let me assure you it won't! I've dealt with the particulars of this abuse a long time ago. And these family members know all about it.}
     The problem is that this man...the abuser...is closely related to other family members of mine. Family members who have a right to talk about him in a kind way, seeing as their experience with him is totally different from mine...But It's the nice words toward him, and the photos of him going by, that made me sad.
     Sometimes I feel kind of isolated in the family because of how I have to dance the dance of acceptance of relatives and yet protecting my space;...respecting other people's feelings and relationships, and yet also making sure I don't get my feelings hurt for no reason;...getting involved with what's going on in everybody's life, and yet minding my own business! It's a hard tight rope to walk sometimes!!
     So, I took a chance and did something that I'm probably going to make some family members upset about...I 'UNfriended' these relatives on my Facebook account...I know they're going to think I'm being petty and unforgiving...which is not true by the way. But I just don't want to have to go over to Facebook, with a smile on my face, and then run into abusive family members faces, or conversations about how much he's missed, or see other long lost family members asking to hear the stories about his death, etc....I JUST DON'T WANT TO SEE IT!!
    I don't have any problem with it happening! I think it makes perfect sense that relatives would share stories about their loved ones. But since my experience is not going to be welcomed as part of the conversation, why should I be watching it as if I'm a nervous on-looker, sitting in the corner waiting to be heard?!...I figure, if they want to talk TO ME they still can. Just send me a direct message. And I can directly talk to them if I want. But no more photos of stuff and people I don't want to be reminded of, floating by in my stream...thank you very much!!
    So tell me, do you think I'm being mean?!...How would you handle this?! I'm just doing the best I can...I have lots of family. Lots of loving relationships. Just a little alone in this particular situation....and feeling a little bit wounded. 
     But sometimes you have to take a stand for what you know is right for you...That's what I did when confronting my abuser. That's what I did when choosing my faith. That's what I had to do here!

Stand For Something

I heard an expression one time
that made the depths of my heart sing.
It said: "You have to stand for something,
or you'll  fall for anything".

I'm sure that when I heard it
it didn't  mean what it means now.
It was just a thought to others
that before "them",I'd  not bow!

But my life's  been taking turns,
and I've  grown a strong belief-
that you have to pick a course,
and into something, put your teeth.

You can't  be swaying back and forth
like floating tides that ebb and flow.
You've  got to really stand for something-
and for something that you "know"!

For me, that 'something'  is Jehovah God.
His laws and principles I've  learned.
They're  written deep upon my heart.
They're  why my life has truly turned.

So, I won't  stand for 'anything',
because the Bible will explain.
It explains that God has promised
'no more sorrow, death or pain'.

He has given us the tools
of accurate knowledge that we need
to ward off harmful thinking-
and in God's  word-this we read.

The fruitage of God's  spirit-
We can work to have all nine.
That will help us stand for something,
so, in life, we won't  be blind.

The nine are: Love and Joy and Peace
and Long-Suffering, Kindness too.
Then there's  Goodness, Faith and Mildness,
Self-Control-all these we do.

With the knowledge that we gain,
and these qualities that we wear,
we won't  just fall for anything,
because we'll  stand for something rare.