Growth

***Before I start talking today, let me remind you about my GIVE AWAY! On May 21st, 7 days from now, I'll be drawing a name out of the box for someone to receive, FREE, a book of my poems AND a crochet/bead necklace that I handmade myself! See the "Connection Rules" posting on this blog for the details.***

I know that most of the time my stories probably seem like some kind of stuff I've made up just so that I can write, but...TRUST ME...no one could make up some of the things that have happened to me, or for me. The things that I now call 'my life!' When I look back on some of those things I can see, just like I can see in my yard...there has been growth!

   I've mentioned that I grew up in a small town in Georgia, Thomson Georgia to be exact. But I never mentioned how I got to Massachusetts. Just to warn you, it's not, like a lot of the other things I talk about, a funny story...My childhood actually began in Savannah Georgia. (If you want to see what the city is like, you can take 6 minutes and look at this video. Scroll down a little and click on  on "Experience Savannah!" http://www.savannahvisit.com/  My mom and Dad lived there, near his parents, when they were newly married. Unfortunately my dad had a drinking problem that caused my mother to leave him. I was just a toddler then. My mom got on the train to Thomson Georgia, where her family lived. http://www.facebook.com/ThomsonMcDuffieCountyChamberofCommerce She got on the train with just me and the Second in command. (My sister, in case some of you didn't read earlier posts). My mom and dad still kept in contact through the next years...that's how they also became parents to a baby number 3!
  But my mom, now single and with 3 kids, really struggled. This led to her developing a drinking problem too. Funny how things happen. He STOPPED drinking and has not taken a drink for at least 40 or more years....She started and never stopped...until recently, within the last few months in fact.  (I heard this from my other sister recently. I hope it's true.) Her drinking contributed to the fact that her and I have not had a good relationship for many years now. Drinking is not the ONLY reason, but that's a story for another day. I don't want to bore you to tears with all of that!
  Anyway, circumstances became so dire, living with my mom, that my dad, who had in the interim moved to Springfield Massachusetts, came down and kidnapped...YES! REALLY...kidnapped me and my two sisters that were legally his. (There's another story here too!...Later!) So, off to Massachusetts we went...with only the clothes on our back, sandals on our feet, and in the beginning of winter! The day we reached Springfield was the first time I actually saw piles of snow! We'd had it occasionally in my hometown in Georgia, a quick flurry that would melt practically before it hit the ground, but nothing like I saw that day!!!
   My teenage growing up years took place in Springfield, with a single dad, and a lady friend (not a girlfriend) he had finagled into watching us after school and teaching us all about being proper little ladies. She did a pretty good job...when we let her! LOL (Ahhh! Another story! *Teehee*) Dad watched us like hawks...or thought he did! He even had Jehovah's Witnesses come over every week to have a Bible Study with us! He figured he was over his head and he needed some help from above!!! He was right too! LOL This is one of the reasons why I call my dad my 'Knight in shining armor'...he did a great job for a man who was completely on his own one day, and then raising 3 GIRLS the next!
   My growth would never have occurred without him! I believe that! And even though we didn't continue our Bible Study very long at that time, in years to come I remembered how important it was to him then and it led to my becoming a Bible Student, one of Jehovah's Witnesses, and a Bible Teacher myself! Yet another story!!! Ha! Ha! I warned you in my bio that I was a talker! Are you in?!!
  I've grown, like my yard after all of this rain. And, like my yard, I've had a little good soil put here and there, a little weeding out of the bad, a little fertilizer to keep me heading in the right direction. I continue to be watered every day.

"T"-Town

I came from a small town in Georgia,
where pecan trees and sunshine lines the streets;
where plums and peaches grow like nothing,
and where when music plays, you cannot keep your seat.

I love that little town in Georgia,
 and the people who can't  help but holler "Hey!"
Where back roads just seem to last forever,
and the chickens cackle happy when they lay.

Why did I leave that little town in Georgia,
where swinging quiet on the porch could make your day;
where when it rained, the ground just seemed to flutter,
and the fields were full of horses, cows and hay.

How I miss that little town in Georgia,
where the kids are free to play outside all day,
where the people come together in a crisis,
where they love to sing, and laugh, and dance and play.

One day I'm gonna go back home to Georgia,
and live near the water -  (Oh how I wish!)
And do nothing but lay around and daydream,
go walking in the woods, and catch some fish.

I'm a girl from a little town in Georgia;
the big city couldn't take the country out of me;
"T" - Town will always be the place that I came from,
and the place that's in my heart for eternity.

Cleaning Out the Old...

***For GIVE AWAY rules, see the "Connection Rules" blog post***

The rain yesterday really encouraged some growth in the backyard! It seems that everything got some good from all that rain...except me! The only growth spurt I had yesterday was in my mind. Thinking about how I'm going to organize all of the stuff I have, in order to Tag Sale it. We're planning to finally get rid of the old...NOT including me! But before I get to that, here's some pictures of our rain nourished backyard.

 Even the little ants are getting out the old, and working on reorganization!

  Okay, so now that I've got reorganization on my mind too, what am I going to get rid of? I've got so many things that need to go in the Tag Sale...or in the trash! I have a red T.V. that someone gave my husband years ago.

I haven't gotten rid of it until now just because it's such a novel little thing! I'd never seen one before!...But this one has stickers on it, and an antenna that you have to keep JUST in the right spot in order to see Judge Judy through snow and frizzle!...Then I have two love seat couches, mustard colored and worn and definitely have seen better days, with little wood panels sticking out...just enough to say they weren't bought yesterday.

Some friends have tried to get me to throw them out before now, but...why? Somebody MUST want to buy them!!...Okay, so I'm not exactly realistic about some of the stuff I have!
  I'll figure it all out,... and release my inner hoarder. I've done it before, when we had to clean out two of our closets...I found out then that Sometimes having lots of closet space is not a good thing! We had things in that closet..Oh! I'll let my poem tell you about that!

 So, new growth in the backyard...new room to grow in the Malloy household! Wait! Is that a good thing?!!!
(By the way, this is not my actual closet. This is a photo from a shop right on etsy called bluekittens! http://www.etsy.com/shop/bluekittens You can find anything on etsy, can't you?...Please check out the other photographs in her shop too!)

Cleaning Out The Closets

When cleaning out our closets,
Oh, The treasures we would find;
Like trinkets for the dresser,
and self-help books for the mind.

Extension cords and clothing
(neither used since who knows when);
And many extra blankets,
that we put into a bin.

Board games, with missing pieces,
and High School souvenir cups;
Toy cars that Jeff collected,
in the plastic, still wrapped up;

A stuffed tiger, missing whiskers
(A white patch where his nose goes);
But he'd  still give you a growl,
if you pressed right near his toes.

There were things that I crocheted
and forgot I even had,
like some lacy kitchen curtains,
and a dress that looked real bad.

There were coats and shirts and shoes
that we both had grown out of;
Cards and letters through the years,
full of sappy professed love.

Many things we threw away;
and some others we'll Tag Sale'.
Then there's  those that we'll  repair,
and re-use, if not too stale.

Now that we've  organized them
(In each closet, in it's place),
maybe we will be more careful
not to fill them with more waste.

We can now open any door,
and put our hands on things real fast;
There's  satisfaction, but we know
that time will tell if it will last!

Reveal and Feel Better!

***For GIVE AWAY rules, see the "Connection Rules" blog post***

My big game hunter, my husband Jeff (for those of you who didn't read about the hunted Robin incident from a couple of days ago!), found something else in our backyard last night! He wasn't looking for it. He was checking to see if the rain had started....YES, more rain is due today. UGH!!! But that's a different story....Anyway,...he pulled the patio door open and what I heard was: "WHERE'S THE CAMERA?" (The call to arms in the Malloy household! LOL) I've learned not to get too excited. He always comes and reveals it to me, with a big smile of accomplishment on his face...and then explains to me what he's caught (on film.)...and YES, most of the time an explanation IS necessary! He hasn't figured out that 'con-founded zoom thing' too good yet! Ha! Ha! I usually just smile until he tells me what it is...But last night's 'catch'? See for yourself!

No! It's not a rabbit...it's a skunk!!! When I finally saw the skunk I started to think about all of the ways this picture taking excursion could have gone all wrong!! LOL But it didn't! I have a picture of a skunk...and I did not spend the rest of the night with a clothespin on my nose while pouring a bath full of tomato juice for my hubby!! The night revealing this skunk made me think of how other things get revealed in ways that you didn't expect, and I decided to make a couple of revelations myself. Sometimes things are just not what they appear to be. For instance, everyone that asks me questions about my "Wuglyee" bear gets told about the fact that he is the only crochet animal I ever made...or will make. And they always say: "Why, he's cute!" One person even said: "You should reconsider that decision. People would buy stuffed bears. Kids love them!"

As soon as she said that I had visions of kids running and screaming, and me getting a law suit for cruel and unusual punishment to a child!! I mean.....Look at how cute my Wuglyee is from afar, and then...  

     His mouth was sewn on all crooked, his eye buttons are not even, his poor little arm, like his neck, is threads away from disaster. If it wasn't for this little red ribbon tied around his neck I'd be thinking up some other name for my shop!...Too bad Smokey The Bear is already taken!
Even my poor little head model from my shop has issues! So beautiful from afar...

But up close...

 her eyelash is hanging by a sliver too!...Ahhhh! the revelations!!! Good thing all things aren't revealed for what they are! I venture to say that many a man would be surprised if they knew what it REALLY takes to keep us women together too! We look sort of like my "Tina" model, from afar...ignore my bad photography please!)...

  Up close we're held together by pins, wigs and hair pieces, fingernail polish on runny panty hose, and who knows what else!!! But when we go out....we look GOOD!!! We dress and make ourselves feel better about how UN put together we are! And that's the way some things should stay!

Dress And Feel Better

When I am feeling bad,
and I am about to drop a tear,
I make myself feel better
putting pearls upon my ears.

When your hair just won't  act right,
and you're  feeling kinda fat,
put some perfume on your wrist,
and wear a fancy, frilly hat.

There's  nothing better than some frill,
and high heels down off the shelf
to make you stand a little straighter,
and feel good about yourself.

Wear some bold and brighter colors,
and some jewelry everywhere,
and you'll  look so good to others
that you'll  feel like what you wear!
Change your mood-and sport some flare!


And just as a note...Don't forget to get your name in the box for my give away of one of my book of poems and a necklace from my shop! Check out the blog posting on "...Rules".

Get on the Road

Before I go on to anything else this morning I'd like to remind you all to check out the information for the give away I'm doing on May 21, 2010. Don't forget to leave your contact info too! (Look at yesterday's posting "Connection Rules", above the blue sky photo.)...

  Okay, today my thoughts are all over the place about what I want to talk about. My problem is that I need to pick one subject! From a brain like mine, that is no easy feat! What will it be? Traveling......or trees?....Traveling!! I've been talking for a few days about my family and that has gotten me in the mind set of going down memory road. In some respects it has been a very good thing. Not all of my memories have been bad ones. In fact, I have some very fond memories of the place I grew up! It was a small town, yes, but small is not always a bad thing! Sometimes small can mean closer knit families, hospitality, and a slowed down pace of life. And that's what Thomson Georgia was for me. I remember running barefoot through back paths to get to the store, my change all dirty and sweaty in my hand from squeezing it so tightly. Oh no, I didn't want it to slip out of my hand and get lost in the dirt! *Teehee* I was so excited at the thought of being able to get a whole bag of penny candy to myself!
   Thinking about those days also reminds me of how much fun it was to just get in the car and go heading 'down the road' to Georgia. Actually 'down the road' was more like the 3 hour tour of "Gilligan's Island"! LOL It took us more than 16 hours to get there!!! And that included a lot of fun stops along the way at rest stops. Us kids use to race each other to every bathroom...I never really thought about it until right now, but what must other travelers have thought when they saw all of us kids peeling out of a huge white Cadillac, with flip flops on our feet and all of us girls with a head full of pink curlers?!! Ha!
   Now that my health limits me from taking that trip, I'm thankful for my poetic mind because it's as clear as a bell tucked away in words. And it's a trip I can take whenever I want to! Wanna go?!

Down Home

When I say the words "Down Home"
my deep emotions come alive.
My memories of riding in the car,
heading South on I-95.

I pass right on through New Haven,
and the Washington Bridge flies by;
The "New Jersey Turnpike's" traffic
makes me almost want to cry.

But its when North Carolina's
scenes of country life begin
that "Down Home" becomes a feeling
in which I'm comfortable again.

When I'm close to route I-20,
"South Of The Border" is what I see,
and soon I'm "Down Home", feeling
Georgia's southern hospitality.

There are things about the North
that make me happy that I live there,
but the dirt roads of the south
I seem to need like I need air.

People fishing for their supper,
cooking bass and fried catfish;
On Sunday, rocking on the porch
(What's in the north as good as this?!)

From "Down Home" there's 'salmon patties',
'Beanie Weenies', pone and grits,
country music, rock and soul-
everybody's greatest hits.

But I know that what I'm missing
is more than "Down Home" Southern pine;
It's the feelings and emotions
of the Georgia in my mind.

Connection Rules

***GIVE AWAY rules below***

YAY! The rain and dark clouds are gone for a little while. They say they're coming back later today, but as Scarlett O'Hara said: "I'll think about that tomorrow, 'cause tomorrow is another day!"...Here are a few shots of the backyard, with a surprise!

 And the surprise? Hubby finally got pictures of the Robin!!! It only took him a week of stalking, going from window to window. LOL My big game hunter!

Even the Robin is probably wondering what the big deal is!...Okay, on to my real subject matter today, the Give-Away I'm planning to do! I've decided some rules about it. First, let me show you what I've decided to give away! These two items: 1.) A book of my poems. There are 20 of them in here. 2.) A dangle necklace. The two things together are worth about $50.00! I will even pay the shipping to get it to you...that's my part!

 Your part, if you want to participate in my Give-Away, is: 1.) You need to promote this Give-Away in some form or fashion, and  2.) link me to how you have done so {Tweet on Twitter with " @PoetessWug2 " in your tweet, write an "Attention..." on my Wall on Facebook, http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100001040284468&v=wall&ref=profile , leave a message on this blog posting down at the bottom of the page, or convo me on ETSY http://www.etsy.com/convo_new.php?to_username=wuglyees . The trick is that you HAVE to bring it to my attention. Otherwise I won't know that you qualify for the Give Away!...Then,  3.) I will put your name in a special box I've made for this give-away, and on Friday, May 21st at 7:00 p.m. (EST) I will shake them up...REAL GOOD (lol)...and have my hubby pull out the name of the WINNER!!! I'll contact the winner at that time (Make sure your contact info is left)... Oh yeah, if you have any questions, be sure to ask. I'm a baby at this and if I've forgotten anything let me know.
  Okay, blue skies above, Connection with rules made...Go forth and have a good one! And take this poem with you!

Connection

There is a need inside of us
To just connect with someone else;

To look at them and somehow know
that who they are, can help you grow;

That if you just could somehow feel
the way down deep, that makes them real,

Your words will, then, no longer hide
the 'who' you are-the you inside;

And then, if you should laugh or cry
or lean your head, and give a sigh;

And if they mimic back to you
the same reactions that you do,

Then there's a real connection made,
and all your inhibitions fade.

All the walls that you put high
will fall away-into their eye,

Where you can look and see intense
emotion-and their innocence;

And you no longer must explain
the need inside, you now must claim;

The need to be the 'who' you are.
They've taken stock-and raised the bar.

Now-if you touch, or if you don't,
or if you will, or if you won't;

It doesn't matter-not a one,
the things they think, or what they've done;

Because connection has been made-
the needed, real, foundation's laid.

Now-there's a real relationship
that you give action-not just lip!

Give Away

Right off the bat today I have to apologize to any of you that have become used to my humorous and light-hearted way of writing. I had one of those days yesterday that started off bad and just kept getting worse! In fact, I almost decided to talk about something else just so as not to think about it again...but writing has always made me feel better. Let's hope that will be the result today as well!

 This "Spun Sunlight-Fine Art Photographic Print" by lilacpopphotography on ETSY  http://www.etsy.com/shop/lilacpopphotography gives the exact feel for what mood I was in yesterday. (Both photos are yours for FREE SHIPPING too, by the way!)...I was woke up by thunder boomers, rain, and dark clouds. And it stayed like that outside most of the day...Inside I actually was doing quite well initially because of having fond memories of rainy days, from when I was a child. Rain coming down on a Georgia tin roof was some of the most peaceful goodness I could find back then... But I did my usual thing, checking out my shop...NO SALE. Going over to Facebook...and there in lies the beginning of a bad day getting worse!
  I talked a couple of days ago about my sisters and how we all had different moms and dads and grew up apart somewhat. Well, one of my sisters, one I hadn't spoken to for years until I recently went on Facebook, had posted a message to her mom there. Not to her biological mom, the mom we both share. But to the mom that raised her. She obviously loves her VERY much, and I can certainly see why. She was very loved growing up... The reason it hit me so hard is because she had been the child my mom gave away when she was a baby. My baby... Being the oldest of my mom's then three children, this third one felt like my baby!...Now, here we are all these years later, dancing around subjects, awkward in responses, and not really knowing each other...She had asked for a picture of our brother two days ago, and I uploaded for her a picture of that brother with 3 other siblings. Then today not only was there this sweet posting for her mom, but also a question for me...wanting to know who was who in the picture I sent her, but when she asked about them she spelled everybody's...her sister and brothers...names all wrong!

 This print entitled "Sisters-Fine Art Photograph on Metallic Paper" by the same ETSY seller shows exactly what I was feeling. Close enough to her to touch, talk, and reminisce with, but still all wrapped up emotionally  and separated by our growing up situation.  This print also conveys the thoughts behind my poem today, a poem I wrote on another dark and stormy day, emotionally, many years ago.
  It leaves me with questions that are answered obviously, but not answered emotionally...How could she not know how to spell her own brothers and sisters names? How could she not feel the same emotional bond with me and the other siblings as she obviously feels for her adoptive mom and siblings? Answer: Because our situation didn't allow her to know them like that...like I do.  How can I be 50 years old and letting something that happened all those years ago be bothering me like that?!!...Because I love her. I always will. She's my sister...and she was my baby too, and my mom, because of circumstances, gave her away. Her reasons were real for her then too. There is no one to blame. It just IS WHAT IT IS...But I still miss what could have been, if everything had been perfect in our family...but it was not.
  Today the sun is shining outside. I'm sure I'll have the sun shining inside, emotionally, again too. I actually am already feeling better...writing always helps. Deep breath...moving on...carrying all the good memories.
  On a lighter note, I need to have a give-Away in my shop! (Sorry for the awkward transition, but this ALSO was on my mind yesterday. One give away may have sparked the thoughts that focused on the other!) But what can I give away?! If you were going to get something from my shop for FREE, what would you want?! I need some feedback this time people! HELP!! {For those reading the poem...I altered it a little, leaving out the names, for my family's privacy.}

To Give A Child Away

There were no clouds in the sky;
It was the most beautiful day-
the day when mama broke my heart,
and gave sweet baby girl away.

She couldn't  afford another child-
Another hungry mouth to feed;
She gave her to some friends of hers-
and so, HER worry was now freed.

The friends could not have a child.
(And I would never know quite why.)
But I knew that when they took her,
they took the sparkle from my eye.

I watched her leave, that sunny day,
the baby that had felt like mine.
Taken to another home,
and leaving all of us behind.

I was only six or seven
on this day that was so hard;
and in her next formative years
we'd  only see her in her yard.

In her gated little yard,
where we'd walk by, and wave at her;
But she never did wave back,
because she didn't  know who we were.

Later on she would find out;
(That was the deal that mom had made,
that she would know about her birth;
The friends promised, and they paid.)

The only thing that I regret
is that we all grew up apart;
Never really getting close,
and speaking freely, heart-to-heart.

But she grew up with lots of love,
and a stable place to live;
With good adoptive parents,
with much time, and hugs to give.

So if there's anyone out there
that's gonna give a child away-
(whether feeling that they HAVE to,
or for reasons they can't  say-)

Be sure to think of all the things
affected by that one decision;
of all the others in your life,
who have a different kind of vision.

Think long and hard about that day,
not just about the pain and strife;
But how handing them your child
will now, forever, change your life.

Flower Construction!

   Hello! Welcome to the backyard! I don't know how the weather is going to be outside today, but I know that inside, in Wug's Backyard, today...there will be flowers!...These  beautiful "Pastel Flower Cabochon and Filigree Handmade Necklace" flowers were made by the owner of an ETSY shop called "The Whirlwind" http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheWhirlwind . And she's having a SALE until Sunday May 9, 2010! You should check it and all of the other vintage to modern style beautiful jewelry she has out in her shop! 

   But today I'd like to share with you what I do. I write poetry,... with a lot of mental energy spent on making sure that what I want to convey is done by using the proper phrasing, beat, rhyme, and feeling. And I crochet flowers, and do the same thing with my flowers. Oh! I do love a flower! I guess that's why I ended up making so many crocheted ones for my shop!...Okay, so I know I'm not the only person that makes flowers!...I'm, for sure, not the only one on etsy that makes crocheted ones! But nobody probably appreciates the uniqueness of how we all do our OWN VERSION of crocheted flowers as much as I do! That's why I just wanted to take a break from talking about me today...but that WILL return because I CAN'T HELP MYSELF!!!...and tell and show you how I make my crochet flower jewelry for my shop on etsy. I have my own uniqueness too!

  All of my flowers start with a good quality crochet yarn or thread. I really like working with colorful 100% cotton thread most of the time. I use different size hooks, depending on how large I want the flower to end up being. 1.) ch4, join with sl st; ch 1, (sc in the ring, ch 3) 4 times; join with sl st in 1st sc. {4 ch-3 spaces}  2.) ch 1, (sc, 5dc, sc) in each ch-3 space; join with sl st in 1st sc. {4 petals} 

3.) ch 1, working in BACK, sc around the post of 1st sc, ch 3, (sc around the post of the next sc, ch 3) 3 times; join with sl st to 1st sc. {4 ch-3 spaces}

4.) ch 1, (sc, 6 tr, sc) in each ch 3 space around; join with sl st in 1st sc. {4 petals}

5.) ch 1, working in BACK, sc around the post of the nextsc, ch 3, - sc in base of the center tr st on next petal, ch 3, (sc around the post of next sc, ch 3) 2 times, - sc in base of center tr st on next petal, ch 3; join with sl st in 1st sc. {6 ch-3 spaces}

6.) ch 1, (sc, 7 tr st, sc) in each ch-3 space around; join with sl st in 1st sc. FINISH OFF.

7.) {Sew edges of 1st petal together to form center bud; OR add embellishment in the center of flower, like a button or what have you.}

8.) Then I crochet another piece to use as the backing...I chain 3 this time, so that the center hole is not that large, but large enough to use to insert a crochet pin, just in case you want to use this pendant as a brooch instead of just wearing it as a necklace....sl st in the first ch to form a ring. Add 6 sc in the ring. 9.)  Putting a marker in the beginning of each round, I put 2 sc in each st. 10.) Next row, put 2 sc in each st. 11.) put 1 sc in next 2 sc, ch 3, put sc in same sc, sc in next 4 sc, ch 3, scin same sc, sc in rest of the row. 12.) sc in each sc and in back side of the sc where the look is, all the way around. End by sl st in first st, LEAVING a long piece of yarn to sew the backing onto the flower.

13.) Then I sew my bead or dangle in place, being very sure it is secure and will hang and be presented properly; Sew my backing on, over all of the inside workings. 14.) Then I add a chain or leather cord necklace, or I go through the process of making my own beaded necklace to add to it!!! (I'm going to be doing much more of that now.) And Wallah! A Wuglyees' crocheted flower!

 

It is almost like poetry, isn't it?!

Poetry

Poetry, the gift of words,

that help you say whats in your heart;

that puts your thoughts of life together,

but pulls emotions all apart.

Poetry, your quiet friend,

that gives your voice a place to land;

that gives the things you'd  never say

a way to jump out from your hand.

Poetry, done to a beat,

a beat of words, said right in time,

without confusion of the music,

but just the rhythm and the rhyme.

Poetry, phrase harmony;

the way a noun and adverb meet;

the way they line up line-by-line,

and all Not needed they delete.

Poetry, the passing thoughts,

and all the others I hold dear,

of all the people and the places

that I've  written down right here.

Poetry, the gift of words,

and putting them together too;

Without the pen and paper

what in the world would my mind do?