What Would You Say To Your Sixteen Year Old Self? And Would It Be Something About Crock Pots?!

I know, you're probably wondering: "What is she talking about now?!!" LOL Well, I'll tell you!...On one of my 'reading forays' through blogland I came across a question that...Well...sent me back down memory road...to my childhood.

In my childhood there were no crock pot dinners. Dinners that you prepared by cutting up potatoes and carrots, onions and ginger. Dinners where you seared the beef just right so that the juices would keep it moist during the long cooking process. Dinners where the crock pot was stuffed to within an inch of it's life and just the right amount of liquid was added. Dinners where all kinds of the perfect mixture of spices was included and you anticipated the smell after hours and hours would go by!

And after having the aforementioned steps all done, this kind of dinner was all that was on my mind when I was about to do my blog reading.

On the Blog Other Than The Weather, at the end of her post, she asked the question: "What would you say to your sixteen year old self"...And since I was in fact, at one time, a sixteen year old...despite thoughts to the contrary by people who see me in my fifty-year-old-self-body and think I must have been born this old! LOL...it intrigued me!

So I decided at that moment that today's blog post would just have to be written!!...And while you're listening to me talk to my sixteen year old self, think about what you would say to yourself if you were sixteen...that is, if you're already past sixteen now. :-)

"Deb, I need to tell you something that you really need to hear...You're so cute!! I know it sounds like I'm only saying that because I'm 'you' almost 40 years later. But that's not the reason. The reason I'm telling you that is because somebody should have been saying that to you...over and over again at the age you are now, and even earlier...so that you would not be searching for love and acceptance in all the wrong places...And trust me Girl, the places you're searching for it, THEY"RE ALL WRONG!!!

The boy with the square head that never talks to you and the really cute boy that hardly ever hears you when you're talking to him...are not just basking in the deep emotions they have for you! They don't care about you, not even enough to tell you that the reason they keep hanging around, at all, is out of sympathy for your lack of self-esteem.

And honestly, you don't need them! You only think you do because you need to be loved...a lot...to make up for love you should have naturally received just for being you! That's a throw-back emotion from the fact that your biological dad disappeared when you were born, and your mom was so wound up in her own struggle for life that she couldn't give you all of the love and attention you rightly deserved.

Oh, if only you could see what I see now. You're funny, creative, loving, caring, insightful beyond your years, and attractively empathetic. These are the qualities that your friends in later years are really gonna appreciate! Yeah, some people will take advantage of you because of these traits, but you shouldn't change one bit of who you are! That's where your confidence will come from. You'll see what I mean later...much later! :-)

And stop using that manipulation thing with your dad! You've been getting away with it up till now, but the only reason you have is because he's carrying some guilt himself about his life. STOP THAT!! He's one person you don't ever have to wonder about in the 'loving-you' department. He absolutely does! And just ask! He doesn't need to be manipulated!

Now, about the shoes and clothes...you have a really good sense of style. Trust it! Stop trying to dress like everybody around you that you think looks cute. Their stomach showing, and everything else too, is NOT cute! And let's be real...your body type should not be in a wrap-around polyester dress! I don't care how cute the print on it is! You need to take it down a notch! Go more casual....but don't get carried away with that either!!

And while we're on this subject, let me just say: "'YOU' are not your hair, earrings, shoes, or fingernails, no matter how cute they are!! Oh so cute sometimes!!!"...

...Those are just accessories. Accessories to help you show off who you are, not accessories that DEFINE WHO YOU ARE!..Don't worry though. You'll figure that out later...much later! :-)

By the way, speaking of defining who you are, don't think so slightingly of your poetry and journaling. Those things are a definite keeper! I say that because you are going to want to throw all those years of diaries away when you get into your twenties, when you think that you are so in love that your past doesn't even matter anymore...UGH! Dismiss that thought...QUICK!

You have some good thinking going on in that sometimes fickle brain of yours! Like the fact that you would never take your sister's boyfriend...even though she wasn't treating him respectfully, and you knew he really liked you. Good for you!! Your sister's love is way more important...even if she doesn't appreciate that right now.

Oh Yeah, on the subject of love, stop judging boys on the "cuteness" factor! Some of them are really 'Ugly-hearted'! They don't have your best interests as a priority. And you deserve to have someone in your life...that is, when you get old enough to want to focus on the rest of your life...that has you as a priority...Psst! Don't worry about this either though, because you make a REALLY good choice of a life partner in about 6 years from now! :-)

You've done a lot of living in your young sixteen years! You've had to SURVIVE a lot of it! But, from your fifty-something self, to you, at your sixteen year old self, let me say....YOU DID!!!! :-) And you did it well!!! You didn't hang onto a lot of the ugliness that happened to you, and you didn't let the ones doing it to you define who you came to be. WOOHOO!!

Your childhood was fraught with all kinds of things you had no control over, {Like crock pots, in your future, that die and you don't know anything about it until you've waited six hours and then realized there were no anticipated smells in the house like there should have been!! LOL} and decisions I wish you didn't have to make about where you wanted to live and if you would become a legal guardian for your four siblings! But you made them, and at some point, despite these decisions, and in some cases because of them, you grew up. Physically, emotionally, morally, and spiritually you grew up!

And so, with a hearty feeling of pride, and a whole lot of love for you, I say to you, my 16 year old self: "You survived it Girl!! You're a really good person. You're aces in my book...ANd don't you forget it!!...And don't live in the past. It's time to be moving on......and time to buy a new crock pot. :-)"


What Should A Written Letter Be?

Should it be a simple "Hi!"?
A casual "I was thinking of you!"?
A 'Catching Up' on times now past?
A calendar of the things you'll do?

A sad reflection of how they're missed?
A needed word when someone's died?
To say you wished you could be there?
To say you really, really tried?

Solicitations for your business?
Requests for info? A note of thanks?
Impersonal salutations from
Insurance companies and banks?

Heartfelt apologies?
Explanations of what you did?
A place to 'let off a little steam'?
To, without loudness, 'Blow your Lid'?

Well, whatever reason for them,
they put a smile upon your face,
that no Facebook, Tweet, or typing
ever, ever, will replace!

I hope they never go out of style,
and keep the mailman's job secure;
because the smell of a written letter,
like hugs and kisses, should endure.

{Big "Thank yous" to these shops for the use of their shop photos. And please check out and buy them from them if you like them: The girl on the phone photo is entitled MALL-CALL-Oil Painting Figure Cell Phone. It's from EILEENMCCOY; And the Yellow Nail Tips With Glitter are from LynnsBoutique.}