Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Funny How Things Happen......

        Funny how things happen. One day you're doing a blog post, going on and on about crocheted boutonnieres, and then the phone rings...and all time seems to stand still...and you wonder why you were wasting so much time talking about trivial matters like crocheted boutonnieres! :-(
     I'm struggling about how to do this post without boring, offending, protecting and respecting everyone's feelings. I'm sure someone is not gonna be happy. So, I'm just gonna be me. You can choose whether you want to read on or not.

      I've talked about my friends numerous times on this blog...numerous times! And I've talked about my loving and even losing dear loved ones numerous times. I've even shared my poems about it. So you can't possibly know how my talking about THIS friend is any 'different' from my other friends that I've told you about...but it is. And I wanna tell you why.
      This friend was not initially a friend I chose. We had a commonality in that I was friends with her two daughters. Very good friends with one of them. {We were 'Pioneer' partners...(a 'Pioneer' is a witness of Jehovah who volunteers a certain amount of time a year to the ministry of helping others learn about God and the Bible)...and we were fellow poets. :-)}
      So, with my friend being a mother to my other friends, and a fellow congregation 'sister', and kinda always just being around...we also became friends. That's a simplified way of me trying to explain how we got to know each other and be friends ourselves. But it was much more complex than that...just saying. :-]

      She became, as southerners say, my 'Ace Boon Coon'! The friend that was my partner in crime...the crime being surprise parties for other people, jokes pulled on close friends, letters written and phone calls made to get something or the other done NOW!
     And we've been each other's ear to bend, and shoulder to cry on, at any time....when our teams lost, when the movie was good, when some family issue was trying to steal our pleasing personality, or simply because we were happy. :-] 
      Considering that we are from completely different sides of the to's a wonder that we are friends at all!...She has New England fishing attitude. I have barefoot southern girl attitude...She's white. I'm black...She's been comfortable financially most of her life. I was a welfare child, and was a paycheck-to-paycheck kind of girl, most of my life...I could go on and on about our differences...but I won't. :-]
      We have so many, many more things in common!...We both have had husbands that spoiled us rotten! ^_^ In fact, our anniversaries were both in July! I can hardly think of my own anniversary without thinking of hers...She lost her dear husband to Cancer a few years ago. So, while I smile every year in July that hubby and I have made it another year, I also shed a tear for her...that her journey in this life is now without the male 'Ethel' to her 'Lucy'. :-] 
     Other things we have in common are that we both have strong personalities. We love ourselves and we love other people...We don't go looking for controversy. But nor do we back down from it, when it comes looking for us!...We're fiercely loyal. Hate unfairness...and diets. :-) We're up for just about any fun thing at the drop of a hat!...and we've proven throughout the years that we'll travel any matter how help someone in need.
     I know! I know!...You've all got friends like that. But your friend is not THIS friend....and your friend may not be in the battle of her life FOR her life right now. Mine is. :-( That was the phone call I got yesterday while I was blogging about boutonnieres. :-(
      Her daughter...also my friend....called. This friend, her mom, is in the hospital. She didn't even tell me she was going to have surgery. And I know why. :-( She probably thought she could get through it without me finding out and she wouldn't have to worry me. :-( That's how she is...she was looking at surgery, but worried that I would worry!

     As it turns out the stage one Cancer she was thinking would just get removed...upon opening her up during surgery, is more than they thought. It's actually stage four! :-( And there is other complications as well...which I won't get into for her privacy.
     I'm not telling you all of this for conversations sake. I'm telling YOU because it's kind of a way to tell myself! I'm going back and forth from almost non-belief, to sheer terror at the thought of her going through chemo-therapy...or dying!!!! *_* I don't want to think about it...I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT!!!...but I have to! I have praying to do!!...Now is no time to evacuate my mental stability and my conversations with God!! Now is the time to ramp them up! her behalf! 
      He already knows her. She's made sure of that!...I just want to let him know that I know her too! :-] And she could use an extra hand to hold right to speak...since I can't physically be there to hold it for her.
     Ever since yesterday I've been crying and sleeping.....Yes, SLEEPING!!!...*shaking my head*...In fact, I slept almost the whole day away...when I wasn't crying I mean...Enough of that now!! How am I gonna help her through this if I can't keep my eyes clear of tears...and open?!...{She would be laughing at me right now if she saw that last line! ^_^}
      So, no more 'Woe Is Me' talk! I'm not the first person with a friend battling Cancer. Even stage four Cancer!...unfortunately. And if this system continues, I won't be the last! And besides, she needs my sense of humor now. And my threats of busting her out of that hospital. And my surprise 'file-in-the-plant-soil' to help her saw her way out of that airy...and no doubt ugly...'johnny' (hospital nightgown) I know they have her in! LOL
       I'm feeling better now...and awake...and on a mission! :-) Have a good day everybody! PLEASE!!!! :-] I'll try not to be so wordy tomorrow.....Who am I kidding?! LOL

Let The Poem Say It

Yes, you've been my friend.
For many years you've born that chore.
But we've really been 'heart sisters'
for what seems like many more.

I didn't know I'd love you so.
Although it seemed right from the start,
that we could giggle over nothing
and never want to be apart.

I was friends first with your daughters.
One, a Poet, just like me.
The love for you and your dear husband
poured from them so soft and free.

But we were 'sisters', 'partners', 'gals'.
The apples of our husband's eyes.
(Good men who spoiled us both a plenty!
The skies from which our suns would rise.)

I've watched you, all these years,
be a friend no one could beat.
And yes, I've seen your anger flare,
No, not the flame, just felt the heat.

The two of us have talked for hours,
cried our way through movies...true.
Well, we've cried through many things!
So, tissue companies...we THANK YOU!

I've seen you faithful to your husband,
and to God. Nothing new.
And seen you faithfully strong through Cancer,
though it took your man from you.

I saw you take care of your mother
with such loving, tender care.
That's why I wish with all my heart,
that now, for YOU, I could be there.

You've lost your husband, mother, friends.
Lost your precious eyesight's view.
Lost ability to drive yourself,
or even see phone numbers too.

But through it all you're just as stubborn!
Like a rock, with fist held high.
With a wink upon your eyelid,
and, I knew,  a secret cry.

Now, the trial of life is bigger,
and the battle is anew.
All the support that you have given
will be given you.

I've always felt you could move mountains.
I've seen you do it many times.
So, get to work on this one, sister.
The fearful mountain, though, is mine.

I fear that you will be too helpless.
That the 'YOU' I know won't be.
That the situations coming
will steal your big personality.

If you could see me writing this
you'd probably yell at me and smile.
So, I just spanked my own left hand.
I love you...see you in a while.


  1. It's a rare gift to have such a wonderful's a rare gift to be such a wonderful friend. Having lost her husband to cancer she knows the battle cry. I'm sure she and her family have many decisions to make. Your sense of humor and your loyalty and most importantly your love and faith and prayers will be the best gift and help you can give. I'm learning much about this from being with my dear friend going through her battle. I've learned more about cancer treatments than I want to...more about cancer and it's effects on everyone around you than I want to...more about cancer than all the cancer surgeries I've assisted on in my daily work. I will keep you both in my prayers.

    1. How right you are, Yaya, about the rare gift of good friends...of which I have many!! I've truly been blessed in that respect. And I only wish that I've enriched them as much as I've been enriched with all of the love and laughter of their friendship in my life!...As far as the Cancer thing goes, I thought of you and your friend many times over the last couple of days. I wish I was there in person to 'pick your brain' for knowledge...but then again, I'm not sure I want to know! Finding out the ins and outs now...or in the still gonna be a surprise I'm sure. :-( I'd rather take the nursing experience I have and deal with issues as they appear...clinically and with love. Whatever decisions come are gonna feel like Solomon trying to decide whose mother the baby belongs to...if you know what I mean. Ugh!

  2. Oh my goodness Wug!! *sniff* *sniff*! How devastating!!! I'm so so so sorry!!! She sounds like a wonderful sister and I know I would love her too!! We need Jehovah to step in and end this awful world we live in...NOW! I can't help but think of what Jesus said that unless those days were cut short no flesh would be saved. Now I understand that that is referring to the GT, but there are so many of our friend dealing with death dealing illness these days that I can't help but think it could refer to that too.
    If I could, I would be there to hug you and give you support! But all I can do is talk, and I'm not good at that either. Never know what to say! But I will keep her and you and her family in my prayers!! Keep me posted please!

    Love the poem too. Wow! So heartfelt!

    1. Sorry Bead. :-( I was doing what I normally do...talking about what I was feeling. It poured from my mind and fingers like water over Niagara Falls!...And yes, you definitely would love her too. In fact, some of your comments and qualities have reminded me of her at different times. :-] ...So much death and struggle is going on around us now....SO MUCH!!! We just have to keep doing what we know is right and keep being supportive and loving. Some things are just not in our ability to fix or change. It is what it is...for now. I'm thankful for the hope of 'no more death and pain' in the future. Soooooo thankful for that!! Without that hope, what on earth would we do?!! The pain would be unbearable!...Thank you for the nice words...Just Right words. And please do keep all of us in your prayers!

  3. Your text's so strong and so well written that I kept, reading and reading.
    I'm sorry for your friend, and for you. I myself had breast cancer and has survived, but I had a very dear friend that has not.
    I know the feelings.

    May you be strong and wise to help and be by your friend side.

    1. Hi Regina...Thank you so much for stopping by to share with me. I appreciate the sympathies, and your journey too. you know my friend's struggle in a way that I couldn't possibly know. And your survival gives me a ray of hope that she will be a survivor too! I'm keeping good thoughts about it tucked away in a safe place! :-] Thanks again...Have a good day!

  4. Wow what a powerful post and a beautifully written poem. I am so sorry to hear about your dear friend.
    Sending good thoughts and prayers your way for you and your friend & her family.

    1. Thanks, Jo...I'm afraid it almost wrote itself. It helped me too, writing the post and the poem. I needed to be more positive. I was feeling sad for ME, instead of really thinking about her. The post shifted that for me...By the way, I appreciate your thoughtfulness.


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