Where Are Your Manners?!!...Beyond The Sea?!

      I had an incident happen to me earlier this week that I 'had' decided to just move on from, and chock it up to just a case of someone having bad manners...Then another incident happened!...Then I went by Blooming Lovely's blog last night and saw her post about what happened to her son Angus, and realized that I wasn't the only one this is happening to! 
        So, first, I wrote a poem about it...which you can see at the end of this post. Then I decided that enough was enough! That while I was trying not to talk about it because it wasn't a very positive subject, I was already annoyed and needed to get it off of my chest! 
      How do I do that?! First I prayed about it.......and felt a lot better! :-) Then I decided to talk about it here on the blog. Therapy for me!...So, here goes! And no worries. I'm going to be sure to do this...

        Incident number one involved a relative who shall remain nameless (but if you've been following my blog for a while you'll know who I'm talking about!....Grrrrr!)...My dad got sick again...very! I didn't know because the situation has deteriorated to where I no longer call his house...(where he lives with the person of the first part, who shall remain nameless! LOL) I don't call him. He calls me.
      So, after a HOSPITAL visit, and almost a week of not being able to find my number...because the 'party of the first part' apparently...{and I have to say 'apparently', because I didn't actually see it done with my own two eyes}...removed my phone number from dad's phone!...my dad called. He was sorry that he hadn't let me know what was going on with him...{See! 'He' has manners!!}

       Then he proceeded to apologize that he doesn't know my phone number by heart; that it was programmed into his phone; that he couldn't call me from the hospital anyway; and that he was sure the 'party of the first part' would tell me! :-( It made me so sad that he had done all of this fretting over it and...thanks to the 'party of the first part's' rudeness...apparently had to be concerned...while 'he' was in the hospital...about 'MY' feelings! :-(

       All it would have taken was a simple courteous phone call. I mean...he is 'our' father! {That's not talking about the removing my number from the phone thing!...Grrr!} I mean...how rude can you be?! Weren't you raised with some manners?!...Considering the fact that we were raised in the same house, I know the answer....YES! {There were some other problems, but manners wasn't the problem!}
       Since I could't do anything about it anyway, I 'had' decided to let that go...Then this week...another incident! A very loved friend asked if I would be her Bible teacher for a short time...to finish a book. I informed her that if I agreed we would have to pick a day that would work with both of our schedules, and that it would have to be set at that time each week. No flipping around!! And on time! I even told her that I wasn't sure this was a good idea...because of past incidents {I won't get into that!}.  "Are you sure you can do this?!....Are you sure you want to do this?!".......Yes! Please!

       So, the first week it went like 'clock-work'...so to speak. We were both prepared, she was on time. It was great! I thought to myself: "Whatever were you worried about?!"
    Then the next week...five minutes past the time she was suppose to be there I received a phone call saying she was on the way. O_0 She was leaving work....{work? HUH?! She didn't have a job set for this day before!}...and she would be there in about fifteen minutes.
     Now, I'll just say right here that maybe I could have been a little lenient and let her come, and go ahead and have the study for the remaining 30 or 40 minutes {It was an hour study}. But because of past issues with extreme tardiness on her part, I was feeling like: "Oh No! Here we go again!"

      So I said for her not to come; that we'd just wait until next week at the agreed upon time...Cut to a week later...
     AGAIN, this time five minutes before the agreed upon time, I got another phone call from her saying she would be late!!...My patience at this point was rather thin, I must admit. What ran through my head was her repeated disrespect of other people's time...not only mine, and the fact that I had WARNED her that I would be very strict about my time. I had to be. Not only because of her, but because I have a fixed schedule of my own and some health issues...including a tendency to forget things that aren't on a regular schedule for me!
     She said: "It's not my fault!"....O_0 Really?! Well whose fault is it?!...It's not mine! ^_^ I didn't say that to her though. That would have been bad-mannered. LOL ... I could tell she was annoyed with my refusal...again...to have the study. Especially since she offered to go a little past the time if necessary.
     I said no because, frankly, I wanted my 'yes' to mean 'yes', and my 'no', 'no'! And I also was exhausted and needed a nap!...You know how I am at nap time..^_^....and having her study at the agreed upon time was a little too close to my nap time in the first place!!
     We agreed to re-schedule....UGH!!!!! It was to be the next morning....EARLY!..8'O clock a.m. early!! And considering the fact that now her schedule was not going to allow her to have the study at the first agreed upon time, this early 8 O'clock time was going to be the new agreed upon time....*sigh*
    I asked her to call me the night before to just re-remind me. {I knew I might lose track of this new time from Monday to now Saturday morning} She said she was setting her phone timer...or something...to remind her to call me...Cut to Saturday morning, an hour before the NEW agreed upon time for the study.
    I DID NOT get a phone call the night before, as I was told I would. But thankfully I had not forgotten!....*taking a moment to smile and pat myself on the back*...But seeing as I had not gotten my 'Don't Forget' phone call, I was wondering if the study was still on...{as I sat there at 7 a.m. preparing, pulling my reference books out that I would be using to show her how to do Bible research.}
     So I called her. She was in a good mood. Yes! The study was on, but.....{Uh Oh! I didn't want to hear a but!}...her husband, at the last minute, had decided that he was going fishing this morning. In fact he was already gone. And now two of her four children, and her grandmother who recently came up from out of state, would be with her....*sigh*

     Somebody needs a guide to good manners. And I don't think it's me this time!...But again, I was annoyed. What I thought would be a quiet hour, focused on her learning, was now going to be frantic, 'mommy-juggling-too-many-balls-in-the-air' time! Especially since her littlest one DEMANDS her attention at all times...*deep breath*...What to do? What to do?!
    I knew that this would turn into an hour of her talking to and entertaining her kids and grandmother, and not so much about her learning. So, in as polite a way as I knew how to, I told her so. And I suggested that we re-re-reschedule the study again for the next day, late afternoon...again at 'MY' nap time!!...but before our meeting.
     She didn't like that I was changing it. I could hear that in her voice. But I'm a realist...and honest with people I come in contact with. As I want people to be with me!...She agreed.
    The next day I was waiting. Tired, but waiting...at the agreed upon 3rd time!! And you're not going to believe this, but SHE NEVER CAME!!!...Not only did she NOT come. She did not call to say that she was not coming!!!!!!!!!!!
     Now that's the truth....the whole truth.....and nothing but the truth!....I found out later that day that she had an excuse said something wonky happened and she ended up with the kids and.......blah! blah! blah!
      All due respect to her, it could have been totally true. But I think she was just mad that I didn't accept her coming the day before, and she decided to 'make me pay'. And SO I DID!!! LOL Because even if something wonky 'did' happen, she still could have called me!!! And instead of being rested and wide awake at the meeting, I sat there tired and having to keep trying to focus my brain securely on what the speaker was talking about!
    The end of the story is that I called her later that evening and told her that she hurt my feelings; that I thought what she did was really disrespectful; and that I didn't think that I deserved what she did. I also told her that I love her, but she's gonna have to find someone else to study with her. Clearly, if we are going to keep our friendship, she needs to have someone study with her that can 'go with the flow' of her schedule without argument or frustration....and that is NOT ME!!...She agreed. :-)
     So, after a little lightening up with a movie theme, and a poem....


Bad Mannered People

You would like to just excuse them,
but your feelings have been hurt.
They take your anticipation
and make you somehow feel like dirt.

Do they mean to be that rude?
All that we can think is: "Why?"
All they had to do was call.
Was it a manufactured lie?

The world's becoming more bad mannered.
"Please" and "Thank you" both have died.
"I am sorry" is forgotten.
It's been replaced with "Well, I tried!"

For the 'mannered' generation
it all feels just like abuse.
And disrespectful, rude bad habits
doesn't give them an excuse.

I guess all that we can do now
is treat them like a pup,
put some paper down and
wait till they grow up!


      THE END! :-)

        {Credit for above photos: Thanks A Lot Lilac Notecards by sparrownestscript; Mind Your Manners print by johnwgolden; Mr. Mokudu Hand Drawn Greeting Card "I Am Sorry..." by tzuyuyang; Mind Your Manners Collage, 5x7 Framed by AJthePurple; Say Please and Thank You Custom Wall Print by mateoandtobias; Sorry, I'm Latte-Print by ilovedoodle; Sesame Street GROVER'S Guide To Good Manners by thishandmadelife.}