Monday, November 14, 2011

Distracting Myself With Their Stories...

        I saw this chicken on Simply Chicks blog a while back. It had the caption "What ch'you lookin' at?"...but more than the words, it's the look on his face that I'm feeling today. Kinda stunned...fixed in one position...needing some distraction.
      As I was writing this post yesterday, talking about what an easy Sunday morning hubby and I were having, the phone rang. The name on the Caller I.D. was a very familiar name, but it was someone we hadn't talked to personally in years.
     Hubby went in the other room to talk to them, so that he wouldn't distract me while I was finishing up my blog post...A few minutes later I was conscious that he was back in the room. But when I looked up I saw that he had tears streaming down his face. Then he said it..."Peaches died".
     That's how that long day started. It's hard to believe that it was less than 24 hours ago...'Peaches' was my girlfriend. She and I were the same age, except for the fact that I am a month older. Something she jokingly would say 'EVERY TIME' it was mentioned that we were the same age. ^_^
      I've been crying ever since I heard hubby say those two words. The tears come simultaneously with memories of us laughing, joking, shopping, eating, and playing cards....Oh! She was as fierce a 'Spades' player as me! :-] And in our group of friends she was the one I always wanted as my partner...even more than my hubby! He was easily distracted with food. ^_^...
     Today I find myself distracted...and, among other things, wanting to remind you all that today is the last day you can enter the Giveaway.
       Also...when we were cleaning the house last week we came across some things...
      ...a handmade pin cushion that I used to use regularly when I sewed, or was pinning pieces of my crochet in place to sew it.
           A little cross-stitched bookmark of a lamb...
           ...An old Bible student of mine made it for me and sent it to me years ago. She knew how many books I was regularly reading at the time, and she knew I could use it!...and I did...for a while. I hadn't seen it in a long time. It had been 'out of sight, out of mind'.
        A packet of emergency sewing thread...that was in the hole of the antique 'Singer' sewing machine I was given by a neighbor many years ago. I still have the sewing machine...and the thread.
           A little girl's plastic butterfly ring that I found in the dirt outside on the ground...
      ...the day I was being rushed to the hospital. The paramedics lowered the bed to the ground right before they lifted it to put me in the truck. I picked up this ring while I was down on the ground...
          Some leftover silver lame' thread. I must have crocheted one of my flowers out of this or something. I can't remember. But maybe I can make one out of the rest of it...
        I don't know what these plastic rings, with the little piece jutting out from their side, were even for! Or why I still have them...still in their little plastic bag...
      A beautiful seemingly hand-painted tile butterfly plague...
         I can't remember whether I bought it, or it was a gift from somebody....Sorry, if it was a gift. I know it's beautiful though. And I know that it won't get lost again. It has a little wooden kick-stand in the back so you can prop it up on a side table. It works to prop it up on a window sill too. And that's it's permanent home in my house now.
       Funny how everything has a story...or a memory. And funny how you can take all of that for granted until you're suddenly faced with it again. Or shocked out of distraction...Yes, I'm thinking of my 'Peaches'. ;'_'; It's gonna be another long day today I can already see...I'm so thankful for my God's hand to hold, and my friend's ears to bend, and my hubby's broad and loving shoulders to lean on...and headbands!
        I've been crocheting them like crazy!!!...
             This gray one, with an attached gray flower and a ceramic button...

         This pink and brown specialty yarn one, with the patterned copper button...
       And last night I made this one...out of the leftover pieces of yarn I had in front of me...
          It has purple angel hair and chocolate brown yarn, with a red, white and black mixed together section in the middle. It already has a story. A story of how useful the making of it was for distraction...I don't know if anybody will ever buy it, but I would. I know it's story...and I already love it because of it...And I think 'Peaches' would have loved it too. 

My World Just Got A Little Smaller 

My world just got a little smaller,
with a phone call and a look.
My husband's tears were rolling freely
That was all the time it took... put my life into a weird slow motion,
and my feelings into overdrive;
to take my tears to a steady climbing,
and all my memories in a head-long dive.

I have lost someone I love.
Someone so precious and dear to me.
And while I'm conscious of why she died,
and thankful she's in God's memory...

...I still will miss her Oh! So much!
I hear her laughter in my ears.
I see her joking with her sister,
and us chatting about our fears.

I know that death is never easy.
I know that time will help it some.
But, all this over-whelming sadness,
I don't know where it comes from.

The sound of people laughing
or a smile upon their face
makes me strangely angry and
it sets my sad heart at a pace.

I wanna be supportive
say all the right things...At least try!
But I find myself lethargic,
and all I wanna do is cry.

I wanna pull the covers up
and close the shades until it's gone...
this aching feeling that it's ringing,
but I can't get her on the phone.

My world just got a little smaller.
My girlfriend left it waaay too soon.
I know in time it will get better,
but time won't heal this gaping wound.


  1. Sorry to hear your sad news, sending big hugs to you :) it is wonderful when you find things that you haven't seen for a while, love your headbands, at least crocheting will keep you busy :)

    Bee happy x
    Have a delicious day!

    Enter me!

  2. So sad to hear but least you have the hope of the future even tho its still so hurtful.Those rings are for curtains I think and I saw someone today using the to make pendants with by putting a pictre inside and backing on the back.Maybe you could do a cute crochet flower inside?
    Hugs to you anyway xx

  3. Bee happy, Thank you for the hug of support, Bee. And you're right about the crocheting. It's certainly gonna keep me busy today...Thanks for the nice words about the headbands too. I'm probably gonna have a pile of them by the end of the day!...You're entered. The drawing winner will be named tomorrow.

  4. Nelly, Thank you for the sentiment. And how right you are about the hope of the future. That's keeping me going today...And thank you for the info about the rings too. I guess I'll have to figure out something to do with them crochet-wise, or else give them to someone who can use the. They're not doing anything for me in that plastic bag...except getting lost!...Hugs back to you. Have a good day!

  5. Sigh...The tears are welling up in my eyes as I write this. I know that time will heal the ache for you, and her memories too. That is one beautiful poem my friend! I could feel exactly how you were feeling from it.

    Death is such an enemy, isn't it. I'm so happy that Jehovah will do away with it very soon! Keep the tears flowing my friend. It's all a part of the healing. I wish I was more like you in that area instead of bottling my feelings up.
    You're in my prayers!

    By the way....I'm lovin' those headbands!!! Those would make a great giveaway item too! But you should be able to sell them. I can't pick a favorite!

    Love you.

  6. Sorry to hear about your friend. Remembering the good times is a way to honor her.


  7. CinLynn, :-( I'm sorry if I'm making you sad, Bead. If only all of the wonderful knowledge that I will see her again soon would just kick in and take away the missing of her right now. :-( Thank you for all of the wonderful encouragement and prayers. Also the nice words about the poem too. I didn't give that poem as much thought as I do a lot of my poems. That one is just pure emotion on paper...About the headbands, I AM giving one away for the Giveaway tomorrow! Any preference as to color?! I already have one in mind...Have a good day my friend. {By the way, I left you a LONG message on FB}

  8. Jansjems, Thank you very much. And you're so right about remembering the good times. That's part of what I'm doing...all the time. Hearty laughter mixed with uncontrollable tears.

  9. I'm so sorry for your loss. Will be thinking of you and sending you hugs and lots of love.

  10. Pammy Sue, Thank you very much. :-)

  11. Sorry for your loss - sending hugs across the sea

  12. I am so very very sorry to hear about your dear friend Peaches your beautiful poem said it al today. Memories are wonderful things we hold them in our hearts always. I love your pin cushion and finding the little girls pink ring we find and meet everything or everybody for a reason i believe. Sending you a very big hug for today and for the next few weeks. dee xx

  13. Deb, so sorry to hear about your friend Peaches. It must be a really hard time for you. My prayers are with you. It seems that when something like this happens in our lives we try and think of the happy and fun times and we take a trip down memory lane. Your poem is beatiful today. Thank you for sharing it. Hope your day gets better.

  14. gill, Thank you very much. :-] I'm receiving your hug from across the sea with much gratitude.

  15. delia, Thanks so much, Dee. :-] And you are very right about memories. I am so so thankful for all of my memories today. It gives me something to smile about today...And I'll keep your hugs and dole them out a little at a time for myself for a while. :-] Have a good rest of the day.

  16. SnowflakeDreams1, Thank you so much for the encouragement, Velma. I'm thinking of the family even more than me today. They're a very close-knit group...thankfully. But it's gonna be hard for them...for sure...Thank you for the nice words about the poem too. It was one of those 'have to' kinda things. It felt good to say it and be able to read it. I know things will get better. We just have to take it a day at a time.

  17. My sincere condolences to you ... how very sad it is when we lose someone close to us. I was especially touched by your beautiful poem. My thoughts are with you ...

  18. I am so , so very sorry for the loss of your friend. If I were there I would give you the BIGGEST hug :(

    I like your "finds". you could make all sorts of interesting things with them.

    Enter me!

  19. I am so sorry for your loss. It's never easy to lose someone you love. My thoughts are with you xoxo

  20. Julie, Thank you so much for taking the time to offer your condolences. And thank you for the nice words about the poem too...How right you are about how sad it is when we lose someone close to us. Death truly is "the enemy"...Hugs to you.

  21. Alittlesprite, I receive your BIG hug...and I thank you very much for it too...As to my 'finds', I hope I do figure out something to make with them...before they get lost again! :-]

  22. Jo-anne, Thank you so so much for being so thoughtful.

  23. I'm so terribly sorry for the loss of your friend. Big hugs!! It is so hard to loose someone we love.
    i was wishing I had my mothers old singer sewing machine. i am on the hunt for one now. They just feel so right. I love your headbands!! Have your made those coffee sleeves yet? They go around take out coffee cups.Sometimes memories are not enough. I want the person back.

  24. Susan, Thank you so much for the kind words. :-) It 'is' hard when you lose someone. I'm working at it every day though...Oh! Your mom had an old Singer Sewing Machine too, huh! :-) Mine has the foot peddle and the hideaway sewing machine table. I've been thinking of sending pictures to the Keno brothers (on Antiques Roadshow) to see how much it's worth. Mine has some interesting language inscribed on it too. Portuguese I think....And, as to the coffee sleeves, I haven't done them because I've seen them EVERYWHERE! I think that market is all sewn to speak. LOL Have a good day, Susan. :-)

  25. I found an old sewing machine yesterday!! So excited. It is sitting in my studio waiting for me to check it out!

  26. Susan, Great!!! Enjoy it! :-)


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