This picture, indicating hints of the gloomy weather that's been hitting the backyard lately, is also a perfect representation of how I've been feeling for the last couple of days because of an incident in the news that has touched us personally. There was a shooting in Manchester Connecticut a couple of days ago. A gunman shot and killed 8 co-workers and then himself.
It has touched us in more than one way. First, because we have a friend who works at this company and we are awaiting news...still...to find out if his name is among those dead. We have been watching the news intensely, instead of calling the family, because it's been a few months since we've spoken to anyone in his family, and because if he is no longer alive we know that the family must already be bombarded with phone calls and having to answer questions from everyone. We don't want to be the source of more pain right now. It's just so sad. We are praying for everyone and trying to get ourselves prepared for whatever is ahead.
If that were not sad enough, one of the men that we KNOW is dead was another man that my husband knew...My husband, as I have mentioned on my blog before, works for a company that puts snack cakes and so forth in stores. He has a running acquaintance with many of the other service workers who put their products in the same stores. A few days ago my husband was teasing the man now dead about a truck that he was using to bring his product to the store. The man worked for a beer distributor. Apparently my hubby was used to seeing him in a much smaller truck, and that day he was in a tractor trailer of sorts. Hubby teased him, they laughed about it, spoke for a minute, and then went their separate ways.
Yesterday, while we were staring at the TV news waiting to hear if our friend who we knew worked at this company was okay, he saw the picture of his acquaintance who he was just joking with a couple of days ago, confirmed dead! It was a shock because while my husband knew that he worked for a beer distributor, he didn't know that it was the same one as our friend. THIS beer distributor!!
Needless to say, it's been kind of hard focusing on anything...Once again, how thankful I am that I had my crocheting to help me. The black and white scarf is finished.
I made it in an A-symmetrical way. I put two different patterns of the black and white together on one end of the scarf, and on the other side...
...I left it completely black except for an alternating black and white trim.
Seeing that I'm still going to be watching news reports again today, until I can get the whole story, I guess I'd better get to work on another scarf...No more black and white though. I'll leave the black and white to the news. (There's some indication that the gunman was upset about some racial issues that he felt were ignored by the people in charge...and an issue of his being fired for theft.)
I've learned throughout the years that the best thing to do at times like this is to stay calm during chaos, and to use the time for reflection and preparation, to be of help to others, if possible. I'm REALLY working hard on doing that. Somehow though, the tears are only a stone's throw away at any moment.
It creeps into your consciousness
like orange does to a flame.
Like a shadow hanging over you
when the sun comes after rain.
Sometimes there is a reason
and sometimes there just is not.
Sometimes it's just a little
and sometimes it's WHEW! a lot!
Whatever caused the sadness,
made your good mood bubble pop,
doesn't really matter now.
You just want the sad to stop.
So you layer on some smiles,
manufacturer things to do,
call some friends and have a talk,
have a good old long Boo Hoo!
It will creep out of your consciousness
like a flame that slowly dies.
Away it goes, your good mood grows,
until again it will arise.