I know that talking about 'darkness' on a Sunday morning seems a little strange. But because of a looooooong conversation I had with one of my sisters last night...and because I always talk about stuff that's on my mind at the time that it's on my mind...I have to talk about it this morning.
Before I do though, let me get one matter of business taken care of...the Giveaway winner announcement...If you remember, this time it's actually two winners! :-]
Congratulations Bee Happy! Your name was the first one that came out of the bag after I shook up all...'six' of the names! ^_^ I guess my little crochet bags weren't that big of a draw!! ^_^ ...Whatever!!
The other name that popped up was...
Congratulations Gill!!! You get the other crochet bag! :-)
Both of you, please just go to my "About Me" profile above and click on "Email" and send me a confirmation of your addresses. I'll try to get them in the mail later today! :-) ... I'll also try to get the new Giveaway item posted by tomorrow at the latest. So keep your eyes open everybody! It's not a little crochet bag this time! :-))
Okay...back to my subject...It's so funny how things work out. Here hubby and I were, all smiles and warm feelings, after saying goodbye to his sister after a wonderful visit...*She left for home...the south...yesterday. *...and then I get a phone call from one of 'my' sisters! But it wasn't a phone call of smiles and warm feelings. At least not in the beginning. :-(
After an awkward first few minutes of trying to re-establish some connection between the two of us,...it's been a long time since we talked!...'baby girl' came to the real reason she was calling...She woke up!...
I won't get into too much detail here. That wouldn't be appropriate, or respectful of her. So, in order to avoid the details, but yet say what I need to say, the rest of this post will be in the form of a letter to my sister:
Dear 'Baby Girl',
I'm so glad you called yesterday...even though it was a hard conversation for us to have. I've always tried to protect you from bad things. Even when we were little. And I tried to give you a heads up about this situation the last time we talked. But you were so sure I was wrong and that I wasn't giving the person a fare break.
I'm older than you, sweet sister, and I've been around a while. More than that, I KNOW this person very well! I could see that you just wanted to see the best in them, but I was also sure that you would eventually get to the place you are now.....awakened to the reality of who they are, and what their real motives were. :-(
Like a city early in the morning that's been shrouded in darkness right before the dawn, you've been in darkness about a lot of things going on...
I wish that I could have softened the blow of those hurtful...no, horrible...words that were spoken to you. No one should ever have to hear someone they love say those kinds of things to them...under any circumstances!...Unfortunately, as I told you the last time we spoke, I knew there was an ulterior motive for the person's behavior...and I feared that you were bound to get hurt.
This person has been showing us for years, not by words, but by behavior, that they didn't care about us, or care about how we felt about them! Their whole course of life and action was all about them!...It's kinda sad that someone whose suppose to have a natural affection for you treats you like they don't know who you are...or like they never have known who you were!
I just want to say again...remember that you are not the sum of where you came from, or who you are related to. You are the sum of the choices you make! So think about what choices you will make from now on, and what kind of person you want to be!!! Step away from your past, my sweet sister. Hoping for something that will never be, will only hurt you and keep you stuck in an endless cycle of grief and self pity. That's not who you want to be. I know!
In the future put your energy into the people who TRULY love you, and even into friends who have your best interests at heart...those who support and care for you, and who only want the best for you.
And when the words of what this person said are ringing in your ears, making you feel 'Less Than'...hear these words: I love you! You are special! You always have been!...Life has thrown you some really bad blows!!!!!!!!! This is just one more. You've gotten through all of the other ones, and you will get through this one too!! I'm here for you...like I always have been. I'm glad to see you wake up from the darkness. I had to do that myself. It's just taken you a lot longer than it did me...Thank You, Poetry and writing!!
Hopefully, we'll have many more long conversations. And, as we do, I know that the darkness will be replaced with light...and laughter...and even some good memories of times in our past. That's what's happened for me. Hey! Even a honey comb has a few stingers hanging around...and I know we always will have them too. But if we stick together we'll get through this fully intact, and maybe even with a lot of light hanging around too! :-)
Until next time, and I know now that we have the makings of a lot of 'next times', keep your precious giggle and 'too-often-missing' smile. Yes sister, it's time to shed the darkness and never let it hover around your doorstep again!
♥♥♥ Your Big Sister and Lifelong Friend! :-]
Be The Best You Can Be
I live my life every day,
trying to be the very best I can,
so that I am not affected
by the degrading words of man.
If "I" know who I am,
then I don't care what others think;
I don't end up in some bar,
trying to hide my pain with drink.
Oh Yes! THEY have opinions
on what THEY think you should do,
on how you wear your hair,
where you should go, also with who!
I nod and give a grin,
respecting what they want to say;
but it's my thoughts that count
at the end of the day.
It makes it so much easier
when I'm being the best I can;
Then I feel good about my choices;
I don't fear words from any man!