Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Are Your Parents Still Affectionate?!

        To those of you who are still young...I'm talking...in your twenties or early thirties...that question probably sounds ridiculous. You're probably thinking: "What in the world are you talking about?!...Of course they are!"
     Well, clearly, I'm not talking about YOUR parents! LOL I'm talking to those of you with parents in their seventies or eighties...or more!...Are your parents still affectionate toward each other?!
      Before I go any further let me tell you what I'm talking about...and what I'm NOT talking about! I'm not talking about sex here. I'm talking about affection. Holding hands, touching, cuddling, sitting close to each other on the sofa, flirting with each other in the kitchen, looking each other affectionately in the eye from across the room, and maybe a butt pat every once in a while...*Teehee*...you know...old people love!

        I'm talking about it because my hubby, after fixing the brakes on the car yesterday.....FINALLY done!!..., took his mom over to the facility to visit his dad. Apparently she wanted to take him a coat and some shoes to wear on an appointment to the doctor's office later in the week.
     They don't get to see each other often anymore, with him being in a facility not close by, and ma not being able to drive. {I still can hardly believe that she never learned to drive!} My hubby's siblings share the responsibility of taking her over to see him. Usually his brother takes her every Monday, but because it was a holiday yesterday...which we don't celebrate anyway...and hubby was off work, hubby took her.
     He was feeling sad for his mom. :-( He said she looks lonely these days...like she's starving for affection...
         He remembers that she never did before. In fact, his mom and dad barely got along when they were in the house together! She almost seemed relieved when she first had the house to herself!...He told me about how his mom used to tell his father every week when he went grocery shopping to bring certain things home...new things!...and how his father would just totally ignore her and bring the exact....I mean EXACT...same thing home every week!
      Just from the story, it sounded to me like there must've been something else going on between them. Some kind of long time resentment or something....But over what?....Who knows! For as long as I've been in the family...more than thirty years now...what I've seen is that they hardly ever talk to each other, except for when ma was bickering over one thing or the other that 'Pop' did...or didn't do!

        But yesterday, when he took ma to visit his father, he noticed a true and gentle affection between them!...

       It took hubby aback to see his father smile when his mother walked into the room, and put his hand out to hold hers. Then, while hubby busied himself with something...anything!...they whispered softly to each other, and his mom laid her head affectionately on his father's shoulder for a while...My hubby could barely believe his eyes!!
       When did they become friends again?!...
        When did they rekindle their affection for one another?!...
         And hubby wanted to know where all of this affection was when he was a kid?!!!!...He jokingly says sometimes that he doesn't even know how his youngest sister was even conceived!...because somewhere after the middle kid was born his parents began to sleep in separate bedrooms, on different floors of the house! O_O {He suspects his father's acquired drinking habit at this time might've had something to do with it it, but he doesn't know for sure.}
           Personally, I don't care when or where it started. I just think it's nice. :-) I was raised in a completely different environment than my hubby was. In fact, the affection between my parents in our household was 'over the top' sometimes!...and not always in a good way...But that's a story for another time!...But even so, given the choice of seeing too much affection between my parents, versus no affection at all, I'd take the affection every time!
      The good thing about the affection in my family was that they weren't afraid to show their feelings...ever! Especially my dad. He was a flirting pro with my mom, and my step mom in later years. Maybe that's why they loved him so much. :-]
      Now, me and my hubby are in our fifties and I can't imagine having a non-affectionate relationship...no matter how old we get! I look forward to many, many years to come...cuddling with him, holding his hand, putting my head on his shoulder, and whispering sweet nothings in his ear...whether he can hear them or not!.....Aaaaaaa?! ^_^
        Are your parents still affectionate with each other?!.....Can you talk about it?! ^_^ I'm off to figure out what the Giveaway will be this time. But I look forward to hearing what you have to say on this subject!

Too Old To Love?!

Are you ever too old to love?
Past the age to wink and coo?
I don't mean with someone else.
I mean with the one you're married to.

Is there an age when holding hands
seems redundant childish fare?
Are your kids puzzled when you kiss?
Or are you too old to even go there?

Do your seventy year old parents
still give each other the flirty eye?
Do they openly show affection,
or seem slightly nervous when you walk by?

Do they sit real close together?
Or have the years made them get colder?
Would you be shocked if they spoke softly,
Or saw a head laid on a shoulder?

If you're married all those years,
I think your love should not look flat!
You should be free to show your love.
All of those years should earn you that!


  1. What an interesting post! I'm a similar age to you and my parents died 12 and 20 years ago but they remained affectionate to the end! Like you I can't imagine a non affectionate relationship with my husband!

  2. aww.. this made me a little teary..I suspect after all those years together, your Hubby's parents do get lonely for each other being apart now.

    anyway.. my parents celebrated their 45th Wedding anniversary recently, and they are still as affectionate today as they were when they were newly weds..

    I only wish that my marriage lasts as long (sadly it wont) but that's another story.. But we fully intend to make the most of it while it lasts.

  3. Awwwww, that's so sweet! Everyone shows affection differently don't they. This is something your hubby will never forget! My hubby and I have an "understanding" type affection for each other. What I mean is...it's a look, a touch, a smile and yes, a pat on the butt from time to time. Not so much a kiss, but it's not needed. Love is everywhere else in our marriage.
    Nice post. Shows we never get too old to love for sure!

  4. gill, Awwwww! I love that your parents stayed affectionate to the end. I think there's something to be said for affection in this day and age...Thanks for sharing your story with me.

  5. Alittlesprite, You and my hubby have something in common. Watching his parents made him a little teary too. Now he feels even worse about his parents being separated. But there's no easy answer to this situation...And Congrats to your parents on 45 years!!! :-) And how nice that the affection hasn't died between them...I follow your blog, so I know the challenge that you and your hubby face too. But I also can tell that you're making the best of each and every day. That's the best thing in the world right now!!...Thanks for sharing your story with me. :-]

  6. CinLynn Boutique, Yes, everyone does show affection in their own way. And, as you said, we never get too old for love...however we show it. I feel sorry for people who, for whatever reason, spend years and years together...but aren't openly affectionate with each other. It seems to me to be such a waste of valuable time...Thanks for sharing your story with me, Bead. :-)

  7. I'm lucky that after 62 years of marriage, my parents still love to be with each other...they hold hands, joke, take courses, go out with friends, etc.

    I'm also luck that after almost 20 years of marriage, I still love to be with my wife.

    Thanks for including my impressionistic photographic print of the couple on a California pier.

    Happy New Year!

    Josh F.

  8. Josh Friedman, WOW! 62 years of marriage!! My hubby and I are in awe! :-) How nice!....And how nice that affection is still alive and well with all of you too!...Thanks for sharing your story.

  9. Nice topic...I grew up with angry parents that were divorced when I was 10 but separated long before that. My Hubby had parents that fought a lot and divorced by the time he was 18, but I had my Grandparents as an example of a couple that loved each other and showed it in little ways until my Grandfather died at 76. My Grandmother didn't drive either but after Grandpa's stroke she learned at the age of 73. My husband as I still hold hands and flirt and all the rest of it. My girls thank us for being the way we are. Thanks for the thought!

  10. Kelly, Thank you so much for such a nice comment. I'm so sorry about the circumstances you and your husband dealt with in your childhood. I have similar stories in my childhood too, violence and divorce included. I've talked about some of it on my blog in the past. How nice that your children get to see a situation where you have broken the chain of a bad past. Keep up the good work! :-] I appreciate your sharing your story with me.

  11. Deb, great post but it did bring back some sad memories. My parents weren't affectionate towards each other for many years. When she got sick you think things might have changed but they didn't. My dad was like mad at her cause she got sick and couldn't take care of the every day things. Her illness was very short. My dad remarried and apperently showed alot of affection towards his new wife. I stayed away couldn't stand to see it. Thank you for sharing.
    Have a Great Day!!!!!!!!!!

  12. SnowflakeDreams1, :-( Velma, I'm so sorry my post brought up sad memories for you. But I do thank you for sharing your story. Unfortunately a lot of us have had life experiences that weren't as we would have liked them to be...but even though we do, we still keep plugging along, trying to grow and branch out...away from the roots that started our tree to grow. It kinda reminds me of a country song that talks about being like a tree 'that never has been broken by the wind'. It appears that that's you...and me. :-] We just keep bending with each storm...And I don't know about you, but I'm thankful for the flexibility! ^_^

  13. I've been away from the blogging world for a while, but YES - at least my dad and stepmom are. They are in their 60's and affectionate. I could go on about lack of affection between my parents while they were married, but I won't because in the few decades that have passed since their separation/divorce, both have found NEW JOY in their lives.

    My dad and stepmom are affectionate towards one another without shame or embarrassment, and it is wonderful.

  14. Malea, Hi! Nice to see you back in the swing of things...blog-wise I mean. :-] And thanks for sharing, about your parents! From the comments I'm getting it appears that affection is alive and well among the parental set. And I'm glad to hear it! ^_^

  15. What a great post & a great poem.
    Sadly I don't recall my parents holding hands or hugging. It's funny the things your forget about your parents. I'm sure they did that sort of thing but I don't remember.

  16. Jo-anne *Blossy*, Thank you for the nice words! I'm glad you liked it, even though I'm sorry that you can't recall your parents being affectionate with each other. They probably did. You just didn't notice it...Kids can be oblivious most of the time, right?! ^_^

  17. That's true kids can often miss the important things like that. Unless of course they are really obvious and do it to make their kids squirm & get embarrassed. Like I do with my two lol

  18. Jo-anne, Ha! Ha! Also true!...about the squirming thing. ^_^ With some kids it doesn't take much to make them squirm either! LOL


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