Still Growing After All These Years

   Anger! I've been angry at my hubby for a few days now. Nothing major. Just things that, after 32 years of knowing each other as intimately as we have, are annoying 'as all get out'!! (Sorry...my Southern expressions really start flying when I'm angry!) Strange to start my post saying these things right off the bat this fine Sunday morning, but I decided to talk about it because I figure that I can't be the only one that has gone through a marital rain storm of sorts. And like most long married couples,  and just like the plants in my yard, new growth can happen from old growth when the storm has passed.

   Before I tell you what happened, let me issue a disclaimer of sorts. Most of you, if you've been reading my blog for a while, know that I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses. But you also know that I don't use this blog to proselytize. In fact I've been very conscious to NOT fill up all of my pages with my religion, even though it IS a big part of my life. I'm only mentioning it now because it has to do with this particular story. So be patient.

   This was how I felt a few days ago...

...when hubby broke my vase. It was a vase that I loved. It had held these beautiful roses at one time,...

...but now, except for a few shards of broken glass here and there, it was gone. I know you're probably wondering why something as simple as that could be making me so angry that I feel the need to blog about it. Well, the reason is because hubby and I have had NUMEROUS conversations about him putting things back where they're suppose to be. My vase had been moved when he was doing...SOMETHING! He's always pulling, organizing, fixing, something. My vase had apparently been in his way. So it was moved to the 'disaster area'...and "Uh Oh!!"

    You don't know how many times I've heard that! And how many things have 'bit the dust' because of it!! My wicker chairs that were given to me by a friend who cherished them, that got left out in the rain, (forgot to bring it back in the house after his "organizing" was finished), my signed vintage pottery (that after he broke it he said: "Well, you weren't using it anyway. It was just sitting there."), the shorting of all of the wiring in the car (because he refused to allow the car place to install the stereo system that was included with the buy. He wanted to do it himself), and so many other things that I'd better stop talking about it or I'll get mad all over again! And now...my vase.

   So now, my flowers that were picked in the yard the other day are in this jar instead...Thankfully I still have another pretty vase...at least for now!

   It's holding some new growth that I have to plant in some soil soon.

     I'm trying to grow just like this plant. That's why I was so glad to see the subject matter in the Watchtower magazine this morning when I was doing my personal study for our congregation meeting. It was all kinds of wonderful direction for women and wives. It talked about how much Jehovah God values our patience, and how men, because of inherited imperfection, are no longer capable of being perfect marital heads...and neither are women capable of being perfect in their role either. But when husbands and wives continue to work at doing the best they can it can result in the greatest possible contentment in marriage at this time. It also quoted a couple of scriptures that let me know that I am capable of doing some more growing. One was Romans 12:10 that says "..have tender affection for one another, In showing honor to one another take the lead." And Ephesians 4:32, which says: "...become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another."

   New growth...

   Still growing...So, my compassionate and forgiving spirit kicked in and I remembered that the reason he was organizing and fixing things was because he was trying to do something that he thought I would want him to do, and that he sometimes is angry with himself and can't figure out why he thinks about things the way he does, and that I am his world.He may not be very good at many things, but he's very good about loving me...And he loves my God. I'm not so hard that that I don't know what a true blessing that is! I'm growing...we're growing. No more anger...at least for today! :-/

I think the repeat of this poem is in order today.

Connection

There is a need inside of us

To just connect with someone else;

To look at them and somehow know

that who they are, can help you grow;

That if you just could somehow feel

the way down deep, that makes them real,

Your words will, then, no longer hide

the 'who' you are-the you inside;

And then, if you should laugh or cry

or lean your head, and give a sigh;

And if they mimic back to you

the same reactions that you do,

Then there's a real connection made,

and all your inhibitions fade.

All the walls that you put high

will fall away-into their eye,

Where you can look and see intense

emotion-and their innocence;

And you no longer must explain

the need inside, you now must claim;

The need to be the 'who' you are.

They've taken stock-and raised the bar.

Now-if you touch, or if you don't,

or if you will, or if you won't;

It doesn't matter-not a one,

the things they think, or what they've done;

Because connection has been made-

the needed, real, foundation's laid.

Now-there's a real relationship

that you give action-not just lip!